Can I help you sir?

HOLY CRAP! I haven't written a blog in 16 days?!?!?!? What in the world have I been doing? Oh, yeah, that's right, painting my dads office building, including the hallway; working on my business plan; going on interviews for a part time job; and just about everything preventing me from writing to you all. And what have I learned in these days apart from you all? Oh life lessons that will last me forever. Allow me to indulge you all.

*Apparently I am overqualified for every job on earth. How do I know this? Because I have heard that phrase more times in the past three months than I care too. Look people, I'm not looking to save lives or cure cancer or anything, I'm just looking for a little pocket change so that I can pay the bills and keep up with my happy hour life. I met with Gaylord in Texas. I had four interviews with four different people and didn't get the job because although my event experience was extraordinary, I have no hotel experience. Then I go into a radio station where the interview was actually set up for me. The guy said that I was way overqualified for what he needed me to do, so why was I in the station in the first place. Had I thought of working for Westwood One...(Jim Halpert face. Obviously he didn't actually look at my resume) And then there was my favorite. Walking into a local dog daycare where the lady said to me that I was overqualified to work there. At this point I had actually had it hearing that statement and I said, "I'm sorry, I have absolutely no source of income right now and no experience working with pets.What exactly makes me too qualified to work here?" She was stumped considering that she just came from a 25 year career in marketing and advertising. And this, after we had already sat down and talked for an hour. ARGH!!!!! So, here I sit in my dad's office making $200 a week so that I can pay my bills. Two thumbs up...

*I would rather sell my eggs or get Malaria than work in another office building day in and day out. I'm serious too. For a majority of Saturday night, I was huddled in a group of people where I was offered to get Malaria for $5,000. My initial reaction was oh no, oh no, oh no, but then I asked what the worst that could happen would be. When I was told that the worst that would happen would be that I could potentially pee black, I'm actually considering it. I mean, we don't live in a third world country so if I were to get Malaria, wouldn't I want to get it here? And I'll get the vaccine right away if I happen to contract it so, where's the downside. It's not like I'm getting Herpes or Hep. That shit doesn't go away. You have that forever! So, like any good "what else could I sell on my body" conversation should go, this one progressed to selling your eggs. Rumor has it that there are people out there that will pay up to $14,000 for ONE egg. ONE! I'm almost 33 so my supply is dwindling down anyway. Why would I not want to help a family in need by giving them one of mine? I'm not planning on having any rug rats anytime soon, nor am I practicing it. So yesterday, I looked into it and what it involves. My rule being that if I'm not knocked out in this process there is no amount of money in the world that would replace that pain. All you have to do is give yourself injections and take hormones and not get pregnant before the egg is removed and you're that much richer. Where is the downside? I have never actually known anyone that has done this, and I probably would want to talk to someone first, but for someone that is looking for a financial backing for her dog day care, what better way than donating your body to science? Of course, I would have to give my egg before the whole Malaria thing, I have a feeling that families trying to have kids would frown upon it.

*No matter how old I get, boys in their twenties are the same as when I was in my twenties, I'm just now older and wiser, or so I hope. So, someone that I know went to this wedding and totally made out with this guy that she didn't even know his last name until she was told later. Nor did she realize how young he was until that fact was also brought to her attention. Neither of these pieces of information bothered her. It's when she went home and he started becoming that 25 year old boy that she realized what a horrible mistake just making out with someone can be. If there is one piece of advice I can give every girl in their twenties, or in their early to mid twenties it is this: leave them all alone. Let them do their thing until they are about 29 and then get them. These boys think they are such hot shit and want nothing more than to wait for ANYTHING better to come along, when in fact, it never does. In other words, these guys have no idea what they want, so let them try everything. Don't respond, don't go after them, don't chase them. Let them come to you. They will, I promise, but don't do the chasing. It's funny seeing it from this side of the fence, and I honestly used to hate people like me that would say these things as if I know better, but trust me on this one. I couldn't believe it was the same exact cycle that I've been through a million times, only this time I laughed. It's actually hilarious to watch when someone thinks that you have nothing better to do than chase after them. WAY too awesome for that :o)

*I should probably wear make-up more. Like when you go to Subway and the girl behind the counter, who is American, say, can I help you sir? Yeah.....

*Consistently listen to your father when he says to keep your mouth shut around your family. Opening it NEVER does good.

Okay, back to work, the "boss" just walked in and I should look like I'm doing something.

Harry Potter count down.....2 days!!! Can't wait married spice!