The Intimidator

Do you know the best words that a women in business can hear? Man, you're a bitch! Or, do you know how badly you intimidate people? The answer to both statements/questions is yes. When it comes to business, I do actually know how much of a bad ass I am. If I could transfer that to my personal life, I would honestly be unstoppable. I have worked hard at absolutely everything I have ever done my entire life. On top of that, I've learned, that as a woman, you have to create a presence about you, or you get lost in the shuffle. You have to almost command attention. I've worked with nothing but men my entire adult career life and have had to swim with the big dogs and come out on top. Half of that career was spent managing guys which makes it tougher. So, when my father sits me down to explain the intricacies of a meeting we're going into, and then proceeds to tell me that one of the people we're meeting with, who just happens to be a very good friend of his, tells him how intimidating I can be, the only thing I can do is smile. I've met this guy one time, over lunch, that was with my dad, who was cracking jokes the whole time. And the one thing this guy took from that lunch is that I'm intimidating! Well hell yeah I am, because you might have been an easy target. Or, have you met my dad? You have to put up or get out of the way when dealing with that monster. He's a tough audience. Although my skin might be as tough as nails, once you crack the exterior, the inside is a soft mushy mess. But again, not when it comes to business. You should see and hear the knuckle heads I've dealt with in my day. Not to down play any other persons profession, but the clowns that work in the radio business truly take the cake. Between the egos, and the "personalities", and the looks, I'm telling you there is nothing like it. When they see me walk in, the first thing they usually think is "well, this is going to be easy. I totally have a chance with this chick". And then I open my mouth. I sit there and let them talk, and stroke their egos and then I bring them down a notch. I have probably heard every excuses known to man and have a radio fan club as big as my radio hater club. But, the funny thing is, the reason these people hate me is not because I was mean to them. Nope, it was because I wouldn't stand for their bull shit and totally called them out on it. But take the same situation and give it to a guy who just tells them in a totally different way the same exact news and they have a buddy for life. I don't care, you can have them. I have my friends, and they are amazing, as I've mentioned. Does this make me a bitch, maybe, however, the second you see through it and call me on it, you probably have a friend for life. I LOVE when people call me out on my own shit. ESPECIALLY strangers. Well not the guy from the other night at the bar who called me 'cynical as shit', but normally I'm totally down. That guy was a douche lord who couldn't appreciate a good schtick. I mean, for Christ sake, these children were dressed in slut gear. My friends and I totally thought they were the bar hookers out early, but when we found out they were the "talent" for the evening, we had to stay. Well, until they started destroying Led Zeppelin, then we had to leave out of principle. But, so yeah, I'm sarcastic, and I'm honest, and that's just me. People love me for who I am, and if I could change it, I would. That being said, I really don't feel like I'm a mean person. I don't ever want to come across as the bully. Sure, I do make comments about people when I don't know them and should probably think about it before I say it, and unfortunately I am the person that says what everyone at the table is thinking, but again, all part of my charm. At least that's what I'm going with. Could it be the reason I'm still single? Maybe, but I don't believe it. What I believe is that there is a person out there who can totally handle me. Who can and will call me out when I'm wrong. And who can totally put me in my place. Maybe that's why Craig has been around so long. I've never met anyone who has done all of these things to me like he does. It's true I need to be tamed every now and then and for the most part I feel like I have toned it down A LOT. But again, when it comes to business, I. AM. THE. SHIT! This is why I know my day care will be successful. This is why I know I will find investors who will believe in the product as much as I do. This is why I believe that when I was in funemployment for six months, I had no doubt in my mind that the right thing was going to come along. And it did! I've worked far too hard for far too long for it to go any other way. So go ahead and call me intimidating. Say I'm totally a bitch. I'll agree with you 100% and welcome these challanges.

Fashion Police

Does anyone know what the shelf life of underwear is? I'm sure I could Google it and ask the fashion "experts" out there, but my fear is that they would probably say about three weeks, to which I would raise up in such a panic that I'm going to soon die from crotch rot or underwearatitis, that I would rather use a life line to phone a friend. I mean honestly, how embarrassing it would be to die from underwearatitis. Please promise me that if that does happen you all will just tell the other that it was from some staph infection I got in 'Nam and not because I waited too long to change out the ole bloomers. Just to be clear it's not like I'm roaming around the place in holy garments that are barely hanging on by a string. However, funny story. Some new underwear I bought, let's say within the last year, I decided to put on after a good old fashion shower. I was a little concerned that we were a little light on coverage on one side, but like a good gambling girl, I took a risk. I honestly thought that I wasn't going to participate in any strenuous activity which might involve pushing this particular pair over the brink. However, as I made it into the kitchen, a discovery was made that the garbage disposal wasn't working so as I bent over to look for the reset button, the final seconds of this favorite pair of underwear were lived. It was a sad moment indeed. It's hard work to find your favorite pair of each article of clothing that you own and when you do, your expectation is that they are going to live forever. It's not like I bought a goldfish or a plant! This is fabric people! So, as I lay my underwear down to its final resting place, I go back downstairs to find our second string player. But, as I begin to look through my drawer, I notice that my dras have somehow all become out of date. When was the last time I actually did a thorough inspection? Okay, I know that it's been a LONG time since someone has seen me on a regular basis in these things, but serious Galanty, what have you done?!?!? Do you live in workout clothes so much that you fail to notice your good undies have abandoned ship? So I started wondering if the whole one bad apple theory applies to underwear too. Like, was my favorite pair the leader and the rest of them did what she told them too? If she was going down, was everyone going with her?!?! And so out of curiosity, I took a look into the bra drawer to see if the same rebellion was going on there. I'm telling you people, I need to really start paying attention to what I'm putting on my body. I mean, what if I were to run into Justin Timberlake at a bar and he wants to feel me up and I have a hole in my bra and not to mention the fact that I wouldn't even want to take my pants off due to embarrassment. I believe this theory is going to run the remainder of my days as a single lady. WWJT!! What Would Justin Think?!?!? So as my tax return is put into my account, our 'unmentionables' in which I have devoted an entire blog too, is moved closer to the top of the list of things that MUST be purchased when I have money. Let's just hope that Justin isn't in DC this week.....

My big girl pants

After much deliberation and thought, and considering my dad is out of the office this week, I decided to take on the task of doing my taxes myself. For the longest time I honestly thought I was going to have to enlist the help of Mr. H & R block. Although, in the past, I've always been able to do my taxes myself, this year opened up the possibility of disastrous results. You see, over one years time, I've worked in three states and claimed over $700 in non-reimbursed monies, so I was a little concerned that I wouldn't get it right. I mean, I know that Turbo Tax is good, but I never thought little ole me would figure the damn thing out. I don't know what's happened between this year and last, but some one over at the Turbo Tax offices has made it idiot proof. I'm not even sure that I'm going to have to get an accountant next year if they keep this up. The one complaint I will make, because usually I have to make at least one, is that you should charge people $36 in order to file their state taxes. It's the only thing I'm really waiting on, to be honest. I mean, I have to file 3 state tax forms and one of the states I'm only getting $10 back and in another I actually owe money. Not for nothing, but I'm not sure I'm down with paying $108 for money that I'm not entirely sure it's worth it. I'll pay my taxes, don't you worry about that, but not for $36. I'm going to have a find a loop hole in that one. Oh, and another piece of advice, make sure you read the fine print before agreeing to deduct your Turbo Tax cost from your return. They like to throw in a little "gotcha" by also charging you some bank fee of an additional $29. They make it look like all they are doing is charging you the same amount of money as the use of their system, when in all honesty it's additional. Any other day you would have gotten me, Turbo Tax, but I'm on my game today! Take that government and your stupid confusing taxes. If someone as computer illiterate as I am can do their federal taxes in one hour, there might not be any stopping me. First the IRS, then THE WORLD!!!!!!

Muhuhahahahahhahahah

Big drinking week this week. I'm sure to have plenty of stories of tomfoolery and highjinx later!

Frienemies

Today I'd like to tell you a few little stories about some "friends" of mine. Now I don't use these quote fingers because we're sleeping together or I want to be this persons friend or anything remotely close to that. I use quote fingers because once upon a time I truly believed that we were friends. And then somewhere along the line something happened. Maybe these people were always like this and I chose not to see it, or maybe something really did happen, but whatever the case I have lived enough of my life to realize when it is time to move forward.

Story number one:
Let's call this girl Red for the sake of the story.
I'm assuming that you all know someone that you invite to do things and without fail this person, at the very last minute bails on you? Then they come up with some off the wall story that they think you are going to believe when really all you wanted to hear was that they weren't coming? Or sometimes they don't let you know that they aren't coming, they just don't show up. Well, this is Red. I used to be friends with Red in my pre-Winston Salem days. She's actually one of the people that was friends with the gigantic gay ass hole that I told you about. However, before I left, I had gotten so tired of dealing with her excuses, that I just stopped inviting her to things. In my opinion, it's just plain rude to never show up to things that your constantly invited too. I mean, it's one thing if you tell me no, but it's an entirely different situation if you say you're coming and don't. Well, upon moving back here, Red had sent Heather and I a note stating that she had changed her ways and that she really wanted to hang out with us again. I guess after four years she realized that neither of us were really interested in her story telling ability. She had claimed that she had changed her ways and really, really wanted to get together with us. So, after chatting a bit, Heather and I decided to give her another chance. Every person deserves that right. So, we let her know our plans for both next weekend and this upcoming weekend. We gave her down to the minute detail descriptions, even going so far as to send her the website link so that she would have an idea of what she was getting into. We sent her our cell phone numbers and told her to text or call us if there were any problems. The excuses started right in upon her response. Telling us she had a meeting for the breast cancer walk, but should be out of it in plenty of time to meet up with us. If she didn't, she would text us. Immediately I went ahead and bet Heather a million dollars that she wouldn't show up. Okay, so I said I was giving her a second chance, but really I knew better. Fool me once, and all. Well, the day of our girls night out arrived, which coincidentally was the day after our email exchange. We headed out to the bar and with no note from Red, assumed she was to show up. An hour into the evening and only two beers in, because that service was so awful, and no word. Not to worry, I thought, it is only 7 pm. It's kind of early to be worrying if someone is going to show up or not. Two hours into it and our dinner finally arrived as did our next round of beers. (Side note: I'm completely sympathetic towards the food and beverage industry as a whole, however, when your bar is not crowded and it takes you two hours to make a chicken sandwich, salad, and a quesadilla, and you actually forget the quesadilla, your service is terrible. You might want to find a new line of work.) Hmmm, 8 pm and still no Red. I look to Heather and I say, don't text her yet, she's got another hour to redeem herself. It was at 9 pm when I looked at Heather, shook my head and just went, well true to form she didn't show up. It was then that Heather had the genius idea to stop by Red's local watering hole to see if she not only decided to ditch us, but to then show up to another bar with her husband. We wouldn't actually put this past Red to do. So, after paying our bill in which the bartender forgot to take off the quesadilla we never actually ate, only tipping $4, we head out to the other bar. We are greeted by a wall of people who we claim are extremely young, but only later realize that we are the older ones in the room. As we do a lap before committing to our location, we realize that neither of them are here. It is now that I allow Heather the opportunity to call and text them letting them know we are close so that they have absolutely no reason why they can't come out. First phone call attempt, personal cell, straight to voicemail. Second phone call attempt, house phone, no voice mail. Third phone call attempt, work cell, no voicemail. Two texts sent, as of today, Wednesday March 9th, still no response. As we belly up to the bar, the remainder of our night is spent bashing Red and wondering why in the world we put ourselves through this again. It wasn't until Monday morning when I awoke and noticed an email from Red herself subject line, so.....i suck. What I wanted to say was, no argument from me. But instead I keep to the "if I don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" motto. Upon further reading of this email, it goes on to say that she didn't get home until 7:30, fell asleep at 8:30, had turned her ringer off during her meeting and it wasn't until Sunday night did she realize that she had a voicemail and two texts. On top of that, she proceeds to tell us that throughout the day there was this endless nagging on her of "something that she knew she had to do that day but couldn't, for the life of her remember what that something was". Let me explain how I know this is a lie. 1. On facebook, she decided to check in at the gym in the morning. The only way one can check in anywhere is through their phone. 2. Who doesn't have their phone on their person at all times and even though it doesn't make a sound or blink that annoying light in the corner, who doesn't check to make sure there isn't anything on their screen that they've missed? 3. What grown adult, who normally spends every Friday and Saturday night at the same bar goes to bed at 8:30 pm?!?!?!? She has no kids. 4. We emailed with her FRIDAY AFTERNOON for the Saturday night activity. You mean to tell me that you forgot something within 24 hour of it supposed to be happening? I might want to shift my emotion to concern if you can't remember something the very next day. That's almost troubling.
So, okay, yes, maybe I'm blowing this way out of proportion and some of you reading this that are friends of mine might be thinking to yourself, holy crap, very small window to screw up with this girl, but it's not true at all. I consider myself a very tolerant and caring person. However, when you continue to allow me to give you the opportunity to correct past behavior that you know is not okay and then you show me by doing the exact same thing that you've been doing the entire time, what else am I supposed to do? If a guy I were dating was displaying this type of behavior, what would you tell me to do with him? Hopefully kick his ass to the curb because he obviously don't have enough respect for me to treat me the way he would want to be treated or that I deserve to be treated. And I would want you to tell me this. So, as a friend, I hold you in the same regard. Obviously that really struck a nerve with me.

Story number two:
Okay this one, I probably will get in a little bit of trouble about, but I'd like to stop an epidemic which is sweeping our nation. I'm all on board the affordability that text messaging and emailing provides us. I get the fact that some people, instead of sending individual messages to people, prefer to send them out in mass style. And I might actually let you get away with it for a Happy Thanksgiving or Happy New Year or Merry Christmas. I'm not saying I like, it , but I'll let it slide in comparison. I am, however, going to draw the line if you're going to give such big news as a wedding announcement, birth of a child, or a pregnancy. I feel that if we're that good of friends maybe a little personalized note with it, or a phone call, or something other than reading it on facebook, blogosphere, mass email/text. I don't know, call me old fashion, but the reason that I went to TCU over going to UT was because I felt like I wanted to be a name, not just a number. And again, maybe I hold my friendships in too high a regard that I treat them way differently than some other people. And then again, maybe as I'm writing this I realize I should be taking some sort a of hint in that I'm not friends with these people the way I thought I was. Huh, well that one made me think a little bit.

So the moral of these stories, as usually I have them, if not for you all, then definitely for myself is that communication is a huge thing in this world and with all of the new ways to get stuff out there, sometimes getting back to the basics means more to someone than you might think.