Stalkerazzi

I know I am quiet possibly the worst blogger on the planet. To my credit, I was in Vegas until Tuesday night and since then I have been job researching and going to the doctor to get rid of this cough so it's not like I've been sitting around eating bon bons or anything. Vegas was a blast, thanks for asking :o) I didn't win any money and ended up having to go to the ATM once since the Las Vegas Hilton wanted to take every last dime that I had brought. But these are not the interesting stories you want to hear. I need to tell you about this guy "Nick" that we met. I will call him Neurotic Nick or NN for short. Heather and I had landed in Sin City around 11 pm Vegas time. Normally, at this point on the East Coast both of us would be long asleep and not even thinking of continuing to go out. But seeing that we were in Vegas, we did what any normal person should do and went down to the casino. We were having a GREAT time playing on Wizard of Oz and Heather was already killing it. Apparently we had an audience that we were not aware of either. So, as we were getting up to cash out we were accosted by these three guys; Louisiana, North Dakota and Nick. Louisiana was kind enough to inform us that Nick thought I was beautiful and wanted to come up to talk with us. Flattering, indeed, but is Nick a child? This is Vegas, if you're interested, you take the bull by the horns and say something. You don't let your drunk idiot friend do the dirty work for you. Anywho, we stood around and talked to drunk Louisiana, dickhead North Dakota and Nick for about 15 minutes when Canada walked right up. Now, allow me to back up for a second. Nick and the statesmen didn't actually know each other. Nick, had been standing around on his own, when LA and ND came up to talk with him. I'm assuming they've never met a person they didn't like to talk to. It's nice that they wouldn't let a guy just stand around looking creepy all by himself, but I'm not sure these guys did him any favors. You see, North Dakota was easily a Biggest Loser contestant. And the reason that he got the nickname dickhead, and yes I said that to his face, was because he got salty that I called him out on this HUGE wet mark on the front of his shirt and he thought I was being mean. I knew it was just condensation all along, but then he proceeds to go sit down and tell LA and Nick that they could do better. THEY could do better?!?!?!? I'm sorry, who are you again. I don't really want to speak ill of LA b/c he was funny as crap and drunker than a skunk so I'll just leave it at this guy kept repeating that he was from Louisiana so many times you could turn it into the Roxanne drinking game. And then there was Nick. Dear, sweet, innocent Nick. He's one of those bless your heart guys when you meet him. A little on the short side for me, but very quiet and tried to jump into the conversation around LA, but just couldn't. LA couldn't stand if the conversation was not revolving around him and I just let him have it. It was really funny to me and allowed me the chance to mess with him. We find out that Nick works with special needs students so he has to have a heart as big as the sun. I still really wasn't attracted to dear, sweet Nick though. Throughout the night they bought us drinks and just kind of hung out where ever we went. Fortunately we were able to leave dickhead somewhere, and I don't really care where it was. We ended up staying out until 3:30 in the morning which meant that Heather and I were both up for 24 hours. Rock star status. As we were going up to our room, we find out that Nick is staying in the same hotel as we are and has a suite. I'm really not impressed, but really tired. Nick asks me to take him number down, but I don't have my phone with me. He doesn't actually believe me. As he's asking me why so many girls use that line, I proceed to pat myself down to prove it to him. Why the hell do I need a phone in Vegas anyway? Everyone I know, well most everyone I know is back in the Eastern Time Zone and not really interested to hear from my drunk ass that early in the morning. So, he takes my number, first and last weird, then wants to take my picture to put in his phone, weirder. This is where I won't let him b/c who knows where that picture ends up or what he uses it for. I just thought it was creepy. So, Heather and I are off the elevator, leaving Nick and LA to go check out his suite. As I'm crawling happily into bed I receive a text (his texts will be in red, ALWAYS)
"you sure you don't want to hang out and watch a movie or something"
"not tonight. We've got all day tomorrow and tomorrow night"
"okay that sounds good. i'll text you when i'm done tomorrow and see if you're free."

Minus the weirdness of the phone number situation, it seems innocent enough, right? After going to bed around 3:45 in the morning, Heather and I are awoken at 7:30 by her work calling. 4 hours is not enough sleep time to get me moving in the morning after a strong night of drinking. But going back to sleep was not an option as I was rooming with chatty Cathy :o) (love you Heather). So, we get up and make our way down to the Mirage where we are hoping to catch the TCU game. This time I bring my phone with me. We sit there for about an hour and realize that there are far more important games on the big screen and we will not be able to watch ours. So we leave in search of food. As we casino hop and look for our next coupon discount someone starts talking a little smack on my phone about TCU. Number one rule about me, do NOT talk smack about TCU. You could bad mouth my mother before you talked poorly about my team. But Nick thinks it's funny. Isn't he supposed to be in some seminar? Hmm, mystery. This continues on for 3 HOURS. I don't know if he likes texting with me or he's just that bored. Around 4 o'clock, Heather and I hit a wall. Both of us are so tired that we have to go home and nap or we won't be able to make it the rest of the day. We had decided on our night time plans before then and also decided to invite Nick so he didn't have to be alone. Aren't we nice? Nap time is boring, so I will spare you. We are up, ready to go around 7. Go meet Nick up in his suite b/c if I had to hear about that thing one more time, I was going to scream. It was okay. Not what I was expecting at all, but certainly a nice place to kidnap two unsuspecting girls from the DC area. Then it was off to get Heather's knock you on your ass margaritas as we headed to dinner. I could have sworn I was a little buzzed by the time we got to dinner. Thank God there was no wait, or it would have been bad. We sit down and learn a little more about Nick. He's 30, his dad just died two months ago and I didn't really hear anything after that. I couldn't. How are you functioning in Vegas, two months after your father passed? I didn't want to know the answer to that question, so I just said, I'm sorry and went on with eating. Awkward silence eating. The night goes by very similar to how dinner was. Just awkward and silent. He's no good without help around him and Heather and I are not good people around if you're not bringing your A game. But, we continued to play and he continued to lurk. Again, nice guy, just not much on space. As we entered, what would be our last casino of the night, I started getting REALLY sleepy again. Nap time was a bust for me so I had had enough and was ready to go to bed. It was almost like I was putting money in a machine, just to stay awake. Nick had found me and was sitting next to me, when he asked "so, did you want to watch a movie or something later?" Honestly, I took this in its literal translation. I really thought he wanted to watch a movie. "You know what Nick, I'm REALLY tired and need to go sleep". "But I brought all my Blue Rays with me". Wow, when you say it that way, I couldn't help but start taking my shirt off right there and....no, no I didn't. "I'm sorry, but I just can't. I can hardly keep my eyes open". I immediately find Heather, on my own, and tell her that we are leaving now! As we're walking back to our hotel I hear Heather ask Nick what he had in mind for tonight. "I thought we might go dancing or something". This coming from the same guy who last night said he never dances. Who is this clown? I balk and we are once again in the elevator going up to our room. Nick gets off at our floor to tell us good night, no hugs just words and we are finally away from him. This is where it gets creepier beyond belief. We walk in the door and I already have a text:


midnight "You could still come hang out if you're not that tired :)"
"Look who got brave all of a sudden, but yes, I am that tired. I can hardly function right now"
"I'm always brave. Just weird in front of someone else. I would really like to just hang out and kick back if you would be up for it :)
And you are really fun to hangout with just hate thinking that might be it :("
"I wish I wasn't that tired, but I am. it's a very sweet gesture, I just can't make it happen tonight"
"I guess I may have been more direct in asking you, but I didn't want to pressure you to hang out if you really didn't want to. I guess my hints didn't work as well as I was hoping"
"It has nothing to do with me wanting to not wanting to hang out. I physically can't do it. I had a nice time too. Timing sucks"
"I know...I wish I was here tomorrow night too. How about if I tell Heather to let you sleep in tomorrow so you could stay up a little later tonight? :)"
"Good night Nick"


In my defense, again, maybe I'm naive, but I really thought that he just wanted to hang out. I was not in any way about to hook up with this moron. But wait, there's more. In the time that I went to sleep and turned my ringer off, until the time I woke up, I had 7 text messages on my phone. SEVEN! It is important I use the timing on this as well


12:17 am :LOL. I had a good time too. Wish the timing could have been better, but thanks for letting me down gently :)
12:27 am: Hey, I'm just packing, do you want my Bud Light Limes...I'm not gonna drink them since I gotta go in the morning I just hate to toss them out or leave them for the maid...they're the 16oz aluminum bottle ones
1:36 am: Hope you're getting some sleep :). I did have a great time hanging out with you, and I'm sure I'll think about you in the future. Maybe I can friend you on facebook if that would be cool (I rarely use it tho). Too bad we didn't get a chance to really hook up, cause looks can be deceiving and I'm really underrated in that area :p. I'll text you when I find a puppy to see if it looks good to you if you wouldn't mind...since you're kind of the dog expert (at least to me). Hope you have a great rest of the time in Vegas :)

The good news after all this crazy stalkerness is that I never have heard from this kid again. I was really worried that I was going to be super sick after going to the doctor yesterday and have to text him to tell him to go get checked out since he was sitting so close to me and I was coughing all over everyone, but thankfully I don't have too. Now I can erase his texts off my phone since I kept them all to share with you guys :o) I'm just a giver like that. Crazy story, huh? It's never a dull moment when Heather and I go to Vegas and this story just couldn't stay there.