Miska Mouska Mouskateer

Okay, so you know how yesterday I was all Zen like and Betty Buddha? Well this was all before I discovered that I thought I had a mouse under my bed last night. So there I was laying in the dark, about to doze off when I hear this tiny little squeak coming from the far reaches of the underworld of the bed. At first I thought it was the air conditioner, so I layed there, motionless waiting for the noise to come again. When it happened again, I noticed that the sound was not coming from above my head, but below it. I immediately start to freak the F out. It's not normal for me to be scared of one of Gods creatures. And I'm not entirely sure that I would say that I was frightened, but I was not peering under the bed skirt of that bed, that one thing was for damn sure. I kept trying to convince myself that no matter how scared I was of that varmint, it was about 1,000 times more scared of me. Not to mention the fact that I'm about a billion times as big as it. But those "reassuring" statements of fact didn't mean a thing. So as the minutes turned into to hours, I kept repeated Hickory Dickory Dock round and round in my head. Would the mouse run up the bed? Do mice even climb? All I kept laying there visualizing was me drifting off to sleep and this gigantic figure of a mouse was going to be laying on the pillow next to me when I awoke. It was absurd, I get it, but it still didn't allow me to fall asleep. So, I continued to plot my next move. Maybe I'll try and sit up, make enough noise, or turn the light on to allow the mouse to go back in its home. Crawl back to where it came from. But as I sat up in bed and reach for the bed skirt to move it around, I wondered just what in the world would I do if that thing came scooting out from under the bed? And what if, just WHAT IF this thing was a rat? Sure rats are supposed to only live in sewers and by water and terrible messes, but what if one of the neighbors here had one as a pet. My college boyfriend had one as a pet. He never got out, but it's not completely out of the realm of possibility. So I layed back down. Waiting, listening, keeping completely still in case Mortimer had a big giant pistol and a mouse mafia that was out to kill me. As the sun came up, I somehow felt a little better as if these creatures are nocturnal. So as a more normal time arises, I text my dad and immediately head up to his room to tell the story. And oh by the way the phone by my bed was missing, and I sure as hell wasn't looking underneath the bed to find it. I needed a big strong man to take this creature on and I needed that person stat. We fortunately get to head to the golf course for the remainder of the day, but as we arrive back, I make dear old dad come to the room to check for any possible perps. All areas under the bed were clear, but just to be safe, he pulls the bed away from the wall where we find a MOUSE TRAP! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!? What kind of dump actually keeps mouse traps in their rooms? It's not like we're staying at a HoJo either. So, he tells me that we need to head back downstairs and tell the front desk that I need to change rooms. Downstairs, I am "welcomed" by the front desk crew who thinks this is a joke. That if there was a mouse trap in my room, it was from years ago and that they can assure me that there is nothing in there. I ask for another room anyway and as she fake looked at her computer, told me that there was nothing available, but she'll send maintenance up right away. I could actually hear them laughing at me as I walked away. I'm sorry people, this isn't that funny. Me customer, you wrong. I head up to my room and wait. A knock on the door arrives minutes later, with Darryl and his other brother Darryl leading the charge. They go immediately to where the trap is located, pick it up and repeat the statement from downstairs. These mouse traps are two years old at least. There is nothing in them. As he mentions this, he literally SHAKES this trap and a knocking noise comes out of that thing and some flying debris, but the soot is so not the point. I jump back and they walk out the door. As I shut the door behind them, I hear THEM laughing. Holy shit people, this douchebag, shook a mouse trap and there was something in it. Don't tell me there is nothing to freak out over. When I paid for this room, I didn't pay for a room mate to join me and if I did, he would be about 6'3 and a great cuddler, not 6 inches long and squeaks in my sleep. When I was younger I always thought I would be a Mousekateer, but after last night, I want no part of that club.