Bittersweet

Oh where to begin this blog addition?!?!? I have had so much go on in the past few days that I can't be sure what to focus all my attention on. But I suppose first things should be first. Last Friday was the last day of work for me. This would mean that for the past 17 years, I have consistantly had a job and today would be the first time in all those years that I don't have a clue as to where my income will be coming from. People keep asking me if I'm nervous or scared that I have no idea what I'm doing, and in all honesty, I'm not. It actually terrifies me that I'm not scared. I just can't believe that I'm only 32 years old and got burnt out from doing the same thing for the past ten years so quickly. I couldn't exactly pinpoint the exact moment when I realized that I could throw caution into the wind and wing it, but I have full confidence that whatever is supposed to happen, will happen. I've never been much of a risk taker and this is a HUGE deal for me. I don't want to bore you with everything I've done on my first day off because it would be the most unexciting thing you've ever read. But, if it helps, I am totally questioning not having internet and sitting in the local coffee shop typing this, while Susie Applebee worker is on the phone with her boyfriend complaining about insurance. Not to go off on a tangent, but there are a few places where it just annoys the crap out of me when people are on their phone. 1. Airport/airplane. You know that everyone can hear your conversation and I truly wonder if something is that important as having to stay on your phone until the last possible second when the doors are closing. From what I can hear, it can wait. 2. a place that is supposed to quiet and relaxing. I have no idea where else you might be able to go, but honestly, besides checking my email, I'm assuming that people come here to unwind and relax. Why else would Kenny G be blasting from the speakers? 3. When you're on the phone in a car. Is there a reason that you have to pick up your phone while I'm sitting there talking? I'm seriously trying to get off the phone and you are certainly helping the situation by talking about something.....totally sidetracked, small child in the store with ice cream ALL over his face. Absolutely adorable, completely forgot what I was talking about. Rant complete. Oh wait, Susie is still talking, back on track. Whatever, the faster I type the faster I can get out of here and get started with the packing. So, day one of the jobless vacation I was lucky enough to head down to Greenville, South Carolina with Auntie Nicole for what we hoped would be the wedding of the century. We got a bit of a late start, hit traffic, and rain, but had a BLAST in the car. We were dancing and singing to everything from Tiffany to Mary Poppins. Quiet possibly the best 3 hour road trip, EVER. It was so much fun. Had to jam lunch in our pie holes so we had enough time to pre-game with the wine I brought. Yes, I brought wine to pre-game to a wedding with. While getting ready, I received a text "Chips is here". Chips?!?!?!? A story that very few of you know. A few years ago I was hanging out with this guy. I can't say we were actually dating, because according to 8th grade rules, dating would require one to leave ones house. But anyway, he was cute so I let him stick around. Well, bestie Laura came into town and he wanted to meet us out for dinner. So we met him over at a local restaurant where he had already ordered chips while he was waiting. We showed up with another one of my friends, sat down and he offered us some chips. We ate them, of course, I mean we were hungry. When it came time for the bill Laura had offered to pick up the chips since we ate some AND HE LET HER! I couldn't have been more embarrassed if you actually paid me money at that exact moment. Needless to say, he has had this nickname ever since. He's come around every now and then, I guess whenever he's in between dating his other victim. I saw him a few months ago when he randomly called and "was in the neighborhood". So my shock and disbelief that he was in the exact same place that I was, was very surprising. I was trying not to let it get to me, but I feel like I had ownership over this situation. Well, we make it to the chapel, in the nik of time, might I add and end up sitting DIRECTLY BEHIND HIM. I mean come on! There are like 25 rows of pews and we pick the seats right behind him? I wanted to vomit. Of course his girl was leaning over and whispering to her friend, but there was nothing I could do. If I could have made myself invisible, I would have. The worst part of this whole situation is that she is a kick ass chick. I would totally want to be friends with her, if this douche bag didn't get in the way. Well, I couldn't have run out of that chapel fast enough and get back to the alcohol. I needed it now, more than ever. Who knew that I would drink so much and forget to have water? I kept wondering why I didn't feel any different, but that I kept drinking and drinking and drinking. And then he comes up and talks to me at the reception. Really?!?!?!? I could have been okay the rest of the night and really the rest of my life, if you hadn't said anything. It just puts more of a target on me when he comes over. Seriously, don't do me any favors. You were a terrible kisser anyway. And I'm kind of convinced that you're gay. So, long story short, I got hammered. Was in bed by 10 and yesterday was possibly one of the worst days of my life. You can't go big when you're in your 30's. You can't drink beer like it's water and think that you're just going to skate by. At 3:30 in the morning I felt as if someone had snuck into my room and hit me over the head with a rusty bag of nickles. I felt that my head might actually explode. Closing my eyes just meant that the room would start spinning again, so I turn the TV on, to try and distract myself, from what I think might be the last day of my life. I find some Lockup prison show and figure if anything is going to break me away from reality, it'll be prison. It worked for a little bit until I felt everything I ate since I was 3 years old working its way up my system to what I would hope would be just the toilet. So, for the next 2.5 hours I lived between the bathroom floor (God I hope that was clean) and the bed at the Hyatt. All I wanted was for someone to come and cuddle with me and rub my head. That's all I required at that exact moment. And the rest of the day just pretty much felt the same. Apparently I do weddings really really well, but the moral of the story is that this girl should really bring a date to any wedding that she attends so that someone can keep her in check. Congrats Jones, you throw one hell of party. Next time put a cap on what this girl can drink :)