We all remember landlord Laurie and her poo stained son Garrett right? Well, you would be happy to know that these two knuckle heads have blessed our lives with their presence again. I was welcomed, last night, by a kind email from the gentlemen whose apartment I was lucky enough to use while in Monterey. Apparently she billed this guy $50 from her locksmith Garrett. What a crazy coincidence that this guy has the same exact name as her retarded son. What are the odds? This name must really common in Northern California. Apparently her "locksmith" was able to replace the lock while Hal is still able to use his same key in that lock. Go ahead think about that for a second. Is it actually possible for someone to replace a lock and keep the same key? The answer is no. Just like a snowflake, no two locks are the same. So, on top of billing this guy for her son to replace a lock, she also claims that the lock that was replaced can use the same exact key as before. I've got to tell you, it's got to be extremely exhausting being bat shit crazy. I mean to go through life actually thinking that reality doesn't happen. To not remember that I was sitting in your crappy ass house while you had me talk to your special little child and you telling me that you had this amazing deal on AAA that allowed you not to pay for anything? Wow. I mean, I thought I was going to be able to write a blog about the crazy chick, Danielle, from The Real Housewives of New Jersey, but what a pleasant surprise that I got to tie that in with an actual person. I don't understand how these people aren't just tired all the time. How these people are able to function in society. And on top of it, how someone, like Danielle, is able to make money off her crazy. This woman is certifiable! Do you watch that show? It's the last show I have to catch up on on my DVR. (Yes, I've watched that much TV lately) I'm one episode away from being current. But seriously?!?!?! I watched what happened at that party. Why do you constantly go around with a bodyguard, who, oh by the way, totally wants to bang you, and think that these women are "out to get you"? An 18 year old pulls your hair and you turn her into the cops? And talk trash about her in front of your kids? Those poor girls don't stand a chance! Instead of wasting your energy talking to everyone about what other people are supposivey doing, why don't you focus on yourself? Why waste the effort? I know I get caught up in gossip and love a juicy story every now and then, but I don't know how much more of that show I can take. I get stressed out watching it. It's almost gotten too close to the Bachelor for my taste. I mean, if I want real life drama, I spend a day with my entire family, something is bound to happen, and 9 times out of 10 it has nothing to do with them. I am thankful that people like my stepmom exist that want to help the crazy in the world. I'm starting a list of all the people I'd like her to save. So Meg, if you reading this, we need to take a trip to Monterey, probably hit San Antonio on our way back (you know why), and defintely spend a good amount of time in Jersey. We'll call it our Goodwill Tour to save society. I know it won't make for good TV, but holy crap will it save the world from a total mental breakdown.
It's really tiring being perfect....
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