From bad to worse

Let me start off by saying that no one has died, or no limbs have fallen off so in that respect all is going well in my world, but all that aside, I have had one terrible ending of a day. Work was fine. Nothing too dramatic happened there. We still have way more managers than we possibly need, but that's besides the point. Remember the mission I was on just a few short weeks back with the uniform? Yeah, well that nightmare followed me to California. I was informed by my 192nd contact that I spoke to at Pebble Beach that I would only be responsible for my khaki pants and white collared shirts and they would provide an "official blazer" for me. As we all so painfully remember what an extremely excruciating mission that was. Well this week, there was some talk about me having to go out and find a blazer to wear for next week. I was fighting that tooth and nail, knowing how hard it would be to go out in the world and find something that took me weeks to find its counterparts too. So, today I was informed that I do indeed need to go and purchase my own blue blazer and that they would reimburse me the expense. A few minor issues I have with this situation. 1. WHAT?!?!?!? 2. A Navy blue blazer in the beginning of summer in California? 3. I'm 5'10" 1/2 with long ass Gumby arms that wouldn't fit a regular suit jacket. and last but not least, 4. I don't know where the f I am, let alone how to find a suit jacket in a few days notice. I'm handed $300, a name of an exit where a Macy's is, and bid adue for the day. Wow, thanks for letting me leave early? As I set out on my way, I miss my exit, have to turn around and come back. As I'm entering the highway back in the direction I just came from, I'm kind of confused how I missed this thing the first time. I bet if it had a big giant bulls eye on the front I wouldn't miss it. I weave my way around the outdoor mall and find the Macy's. I'm hopeful b/c right next door is an Ann Taylor Loft. They usually have all kinds of things so I have to be in the right place. I take a chance and head into the Loft first. Looking, looking, looking, nothing. A few cute skirts and tops. Even picked a few up to go try on, but punished myself b/c I'm on a mission. Next stop, Macy's women. I can't go wrong here and look, there is even a really cute dress in the window, ON SALE....Wait a minute, they don't have my size. The smallest thing they have is a 0XL. I don't even know what that is, but this is not the store for me. Luckily a regular Macy's is right across the way. I hop on in, head upstairs to the suits and after a few minutes of digging around, see ONE navy suit in a plethora of sizes. Since I really am just concerned with the jacket, I try and few on and low and behold the sleeves aren't long enough. Maybe if I go up in sizes it might work. Nope, just made me closer to trying on the Macy's women's line. I head up to the counter to ask friendly Meg for her help. We literally walk around the entire women's department, asking every single person in every single department if they have a blue blazer or where I could go to get one. In their most helpful way they just shrug and say, gee, that's tough. Are you sure you don't need a black one? Please keep in mind, that I am currently WEARING a black blazer at that exact moment and for fear of popping the tops of their heads off and taking a bite, I graciously say thank you and continue my mission. I remembered seeing a Chico's after my Macy's women disaster so I popped in there. Apparently no one my age shops in that store b/c not a sole was around to help. I finally work my way through the store and use my best, please help me look. A kind lady acknowledges my distress signal and comes over to help. I explain what I am looking for and where I am looking and she too asks that same questions. Are you sure you need Navy? You do know how hard that color is to find right now? It's not exactly the color of summer. My Jim Halpert face was dying inside of me wanting to get out. Thank you lady, but I mean really. I've heard a lot of questions here in the past hour, but asking me if I really need a Navy blazer was a little ridiculous. Helpful Hannah tells me to check out Banana Republic and see if they might have anything. As she points me in the completely wrong direction in which I head...to the wrong dead end of the mall. Please note that I am still in my work attire, including shoes and have been walking around since 7:30 this morning. A "small" stinging sensation is now travelling from the bottoms of my feet to the sides. I about face and go back in the direction I was just sent. Finally find BR only to find exactly what I knew was going to be there; khaki, black, and grey suits. At this point I'm just over it. I head to another helpful aid who then actually takes me to the men's section, b/c OF COURSE they have jackets. Unfortunately our grand idea didn't work b/c no matter how small the suit, it still looked like I borrowed it from my dad. We stand around talking for a little while b/c honestly, if I walked around anymore, I might look insanely crazy. After calming down, I just decided to head back into Macy's buy the blue suit and say to hell with it. If they have a problem with the suit, they should have bought me a blazer! Plus, the damn thing was on sale, so I got entire Navy suit for $100, of their money. After an hour and a half, one fiber bar, a bottle full of water and extremely achy feet, I head to the homestead where I am anxiously awaiting taking my heels off. I pull into the parking spot and head to my oasis. Bottom lock, done. Top lock......top lock.....TOP LOCK!!!!! I play around with this thing for about 5-7 minutes. Hoping someone might see a damsel in distress and come help. No such luck. I knew the landlady lived right behind the apartment so I went to knock on her door. I WISH I had the kind of imagination to make this whole next part up. She stands at the top of her steps, with her dog barking at me, and just looking at me. Her attire: black sweat shirt with skeleton outline on it. Black Reebok. Jeans with....what is that? Are you seriously going to come to the door with your belt undone? Yes, the answer is yes. So after her standing there for a few moments, she comes down and opens the door just about 2 centimeters. Enough for her to ask who the hell I am. What I should I have said "Have you accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior"? What I actually said, Ummm, I'm staying in Hal's place and I can't get the deadbolt unlocked. Door shuts in my face, and moments later she comes back with the spare key. Still does not open the door any further than she needs to hand the key to me and makes sure to say, "bring that back"! With spare key in hand, I'm feeling a little better about getting into the apartment. Put her key in the lock and the same thing happens again. After another 2 minutes of me practicing my yoga meditation breathing, I hear her coming around the corner. I'm guessing that she thinks I'm a complete moron so she trys herself. I'm thinking to myself that I'm okay if she breaks the lock, since it's technically her place anyway. We work on this for a little while when Tony comes home. Oh Tony...Tony, Tony, Tony. I'm assuming that he's the maintenance man? Who knows though. He has a killer licence plate holder with "scary" shark teeth on it, not one, but TWO skull and cross bone stickers on the back of his Mitsubishi, and his hat is so big that he has to fold it up in the back. Picture if you will and extremely good looking guy that cleans himself and then do the complete opposite and you have Tony. He's also no spring chicken either. So now there are three of us and I can't think of a great blonde joke to tell here, but it certainly would be a good one. Landlady Laurie leaves to go get supplies and Tony comes equipped with WD40. Sprays the lock, tries it again, and nothing. Meanwhile, I hear Laurie on the phone behind me with the police. One of her other tenants had somehow come to her house while we were so diligently working on this lock and told her that someone needs the cops called b/c ole whathisname thinks they are going insane. Hoping this guy wasn't talking about me, I hear Laurie with the policeman saying that they have to come get the guy again b/c he wanted to be taken away. I'm guessing Laurie has the cops on speed dial if this isn't the first time this has happened. What the hell is going on here?!? Once Laurie returns, she tells me to go inside and chill on the couch. Upon entering her house, I am greeted by small white puff of hair that barks while backing up into the rest of the house. This makes me miss Scout, but as I ascend to the rest of the casa I decide against her recommendation of sitting on the couch and head to the fireplace. It's here that I am completely by myself, inside a strangers house, literally sitting directly next to a bongo drum. Again, I repeat, WTF is going on here? After another few moments, Laurie comes in and starts to call AAA and locksmiths. She's telling everyone what she gets from her Platinum membership with AAA. I know she's trying to help, but I'm seriously going crazy here. She finds someone to come out and since I have had to pee for about 2 hours now, I ask to use her restroom. As she points me in the direction of her bedroom, she says, don't mind the mess. Laurie, I'm not sure anything would surprise me right now, but if I don't pee, I'm going to stain your carpet, oh wait, looks like that's been done already. For fear of finding out what the "mess" would involve, I keep my head down and just go to the room she gave me directions too. I'm sorry, did you say don't mind the mess, or pay no attention to my clean dishes that are on my bathroom counter? Are you serious? Do you really not have a kitchen sink in this place? You are a landlady for a number of different units in this area and THIS is where you do your dishes? Holy Christ I'm going to get stolen and kept for ransom. I quickly get my business done and while I'm heading in the direction to wash my hands, I hear a male voice. Oh God, this is it! I'm doomed. I'm finished. And no one knows where I am. I slowly open the bedroom door and see her son with no shirt on and brown all over the back of his shorts. Yeah, might want to apologize for that one too. "Who's that"? I'm standing right here. You could ask me, but no, no Laurie wanted the pleasure. By the way, you might want to be a little nicer to me poo stains. B/c you're definitely in your late 20's/early 30's, you live with your mom, and you pooped your pants. But go ahead, pass judgement on me. Once the locksmith arrived, I could have, and would have, open mouth kissed him if I wasn't fearful that tooth loss was contagious. He's out trying to get into the apartment for a good 20-25 minutes. I decide to get up and look out the window where maybe someone could see me if I did get stolen. I take a very discreet look around and notice a to-do list on a tiny pad of paper. Oh how nice. Let's see what you needed to do today. Toilet paper, cereal...oh no, it's grocery list. I can't wait to see what you people eat. Water, Weed....wait, what? What did that just say? I mean, for sure you guys smoke a lot of pot, and I'm sure together, but did you really just write that down? As if you would forget? Oh please, oh please, oh please Mr. Locksmith, you have to fix this problem immediately. Well, after an excruciating 2 hours with these people, the door finally opened and I was allowed to take my shoes off. I'm fairly certain that my tennis shoes are now forever stuck on my feet, but it's a small price to pay to not have to have sleep over time with Laurie and Tiny Tim. Like I said, it was a bad day.

Shake weight

Okay, so the funniest thing happened to me last night. I decided, after working out and blogging that I should go do a little more exploring in this fine town. I mean, I have absolutely nothing else to do. The internet is a little shotty and I have to strategically watch my Netflix, so I don't run out of things to watch on the trip home. So, while I had a little bit of internet service, I did a quick Google search on places to eat in downtown Monterey. I know that I wanted something remotely healthy and not something where I would engorge myself with food that would just make me feel uncomfortable. I found this American restaurant and Martini bar. Those of you who know me, know I love a good martini, and although I wasn't in the mood to drink if you can make a good martini, you have to make good food. I'm sure my logic is flawed somewhere, but it did not disappoint. Upon my arrival, I was greeted by an extremely handsome bartender. It could have been a line or something, but he reached over the bar to shake my hand and was like "you look really familiar". Please keep in mind that I did not shower after working out so I had jeans, flip flops, a long sleeve shirt on, my sports bra still on and my hair in a pony tail. I wasn't exactly bringing my A game to the table here. But hey, if you're digging it, who am I to stop you? And if you aren't, you sure do know how to make a girl feel good. Sweet cheeks helps me to order some ahi tuna and trys to convince me to have a drink. I stay strong and stick with water. Somehow he starts talking to me about running and working out and then we get on the topic of where I live. A friendly neighborhood patron was a few bar stools away from me and apparently knew SC and so he joined in on the conversation. It was really nice to have a pleasant conversation with two unassuming guys. Not to mention the fact that I know what I looked like when I left the house so it was either REALLY slow last night, or they were having a good time. Whatever, not questioning it. In any case, after a few hours of sitting around and chatting, we somehow got back onto the subject of working out. SC informs me that he has a bowflex at home, which in my head put him on one of those huge units without a shirt on. I'm sure whatever came out of his mouth after that was really intelligent, but I stopped listening for a few minutes. Once back to the task at hand, SC was now talking about the Shake Weight. Curious, I asked him if he was serious b/c I've never actually met someone that has bought into the hype.

SC: Yeah, I'm totally into fitness. I figured that my whole life is working out, so why not try it.

ME: So, you just stand there and hold these weights while they essentially vibrate back and forth in your hand?

SC: Not exactly. They don't vibrate, you have to shake them yourself.

ME: (Giggling) Wait, I don't get it. It's not a machine? You actually have to do something with it?

SC: I totally have it in my car with me. Do you want to see it?

ME: YES! Whatever the question was, yes. Did you just ask if you wanted me to come out to your car with you and make out? Yes, I totally will.

So, he grabs his keys and heads out to the car. Meanwhile, friendly patron Chuck can't seem to stop laughing. He can't believe how much I'm egging this guy on. Inside I'm dying b/c the mental picture I'm getting from anyone doing this "workout" is not a clean image at all. And then we're making fun of SC and how it was almost kind of creepy the way he asked if I wanted to see it. Like he was Buffalo Bill and trying to get me to help him carry his couch into the back of his kidnapper van all the while sizing me up to make a skin suit out of me. Chuck and I are basically crying we are laughing so hard. And while SC is out at the car, Chuck is trying to tell me about the Saturday Night Live skit that was done about this piece of equipment. The description he was giving was not nearly as amazing as this You Tube clip is....

Back in walks SC with basically a dumbbell that you literally have to jerk back and forth to make the weight shake. He hands it to me and tells me to try and move it. I'm like, no. No way, no how. By this time, every person in the bar is looking at me. And a new Jersey patron, who in a few years might be a Biggest Loser contestant is gawking at this dumbbell like a kid on Christmas. He, of course, missed the laughfest by a few minutes so I walked over and handed it to him and told him to go to town. He thought the thing was mechanic too. So he sat there with it in his hand, waiting on it to move on its own. When it didn't SC had to show him how to work it and in his fine Jerseyness he said "oh, like you're jerking off". So, the laughing ensued again. I couldn't help it. The guy was so innocent and it was so natural for him to say it. It was one of the most random funniest nights of my life. Chuck even gave me his card which is nice, so now I have a friend here.

Today was my day off and one of the managers had asked if I wanted to head around town to check it out. Since she's from this area, she took me down to a place called Carmel Valley. I'm not sure, but if the Garden of Eden was in America, I'm pretty sure it would be here. This place was amazing. It was sunny, it was green, and it was breathtaking. Katie took me to a few vineyards and then we ended up eating at a local one in town. If it didn't cost one of my kidneys and some bone marrow to live down there, you better believe I would have just stayed. Now I have something to work towards if I come out here for good.

After lunch, I was dropped off and thought that since it was still early enough, I might try and check out the local farmers market. In downtown Monterey, they close down one of the main streets every Tuesday and have this HUGE farmers market. Since most of our produce comes from out here anyway, I figured that it was worth a shot to see what all the fuss was about. Plus, I really need to stop eating out since every meal is costing me about $25 a pop. And I might go into shock by not eating healthy soon. I found a place to park and started walking. As I crossed the last street, I was welcomed by row upon row of tents that had nothing but fresh fruit and veggies underneath. I'm kind of a nerd about markets, just ask anyone in Winston and this was like a dream come true. I had to limit myself though. I'm only here for two more weeks and the apartment fridge is really really small. I already have my milk and wine in there, not much room for anything else. I find some salad parts, a sweet potato and some fruit and I was on my way. I felt like such a local. Like I was just doing my weekly shopping like anyone else. It actually shocked me how many people were out on the street at 4 o'clock in the afternoon. I think California is just like Spain. People only work some of the time and just leave when they want to. It might be siesta time for all I know. With veggies and fruit in hand, I head back to the car. Now I need to find a grocery store to get some essentials to cook with. I didn't really do a thorough run through of supplies in the apartment, but considering that I've known my fair share of bachelors in my day, I can only imagine what I need. As I'm about to do a search on my GPS, I look up in front of me and it's like a little angel tear. A Trader Joes is just yards ahead and it would have everything I need. The one thing I will complain about now is the parking situation at grocery stores in this area. Let's say you have about a million people trying to park in your parking lot. Wouldn't you build up? Wouldn't you not leave only 50 or so spots out front for people to use? If you want to see angry California, try to find parking at Trader Joes. They are all there. I'm in and out in minutes. I even grab some extra stuff that I might munch on. It is two weeks after all. I'm finally on my way "home" for the night. I figured you might want a picture of the view I have now. Not to make you jealous or anything......but kind of.

Yeah, that's the bay. I think it's been a really good day :)

New Kid on the Block

Man today was rough. Working in the hospitality business is not for the weak at heart, or feet. I arrived at work by 7:20 and was on my feet until 4:30 this evening. I'm extremely happy that I wore flats today, but that is going to be short lived for I only brought two pairs and I'm not one to wear shoes twice in one week. I know I'm crazy, but it's just my thing. If you spend as much money as I do on shoes, you would do the same thing. But I digress, it's totally not the point. The point is that I was walking around all day, after my first night in an extra long twin bed since 1997. I think I woke up about 7 times during the night. Of course, the first time I woke up and looked at the clock, it was only 10:30. Yeah, okay, I went to bed around the 9 pm hour, but so what? Don't judge me. Another time I woke up I had the worst pain in my groin muscle, so I'm kind of convinced I pulled that. Which is totally a mystery considering I haven't done a leg workout since Friday and if I was to pull it, I would have thought it would have happened kind of before Monday, but whatever. Then there was every time I woke up b/c the bed squeaked from me moving in it. I'm not entirely sure how we thought that shacking up in college was a good idea. I have barely enough room on this deluxe cot for myself, let alone another person. And when this person was 6'3 about 175 (forgive me Bryan if I completely misjudged that) I have no idea how we fit. Not that we did, dad, I'm just saying hypothetically. But anyway, as I mentioned yesterday, I don't miss this life, one bit. I mean the dorm rooms are nice enough, but not when you haven't lived in one for 12 years. You kind of forget why you were drunk most of the time. It might have been the only way you feel asleep. So there I was, 5 am, wondering if I should get up, attempt to workout, or wait an hour, sleep a little more and workout when I got home. For once the devil on my shoulder won out and I went back to sleep. I figured that my day yesterday deserved a few extra z's. Rolled into work just fine and learned everything over that I attempted to absorb yesterday. I even got to meet the President of Pebble Beach who actually got me this sweet gig. Word to the wise everyone, if you're trying to land a kick ass job at a world famous resort, totally kiss the big man's butt. For instance, send him some BBQ sauce and sweet tea from the place where he's from. You will totally stand out and pretty much ensure your future. Thanks for that Robert! I'll owe you a round of golf or something. And apparently eating or drinking while you're on duty is something that doesn't happen all the time, but I was shown around by the manager on duty, who kicks ass as well, by the way, and we were able to inhale a small portion of food. Which is kind of funny b/c I totally thought that what I was picking up was lasagna, when in fact it was an enchilada. I didn't spit it out or anything, but when you think what you're putting in your mouth is one thing and turns out to be from a totally different part of the world, it may cause an interesting reaction. I'm just saying. So all in all, the day was pretty successful. I did manage to get a work out in. I've met some pretty fun people who are going to show me around tomorrow and I'm going to head out to have dinner alone, again somewhere in this town. I've found if you order wine with your dinner, you don't look as alone :)

A girl could get used to this

So here I am in Monterey. It's been one hell of an adventure already, to say the least. Let me start from the very beginning, Julie Andrews claims that it's a very good place to start. 5 am came so early this morning. You know it's early when your one year old dog doesn't even want to get out of bed. I dress for cooler weather, dad heaves the suitcase into the car and askes why I didn't pack two bags? Well, when you're packing for a month and carrying everything yourself, why would you pack two suitcases? As we're heading to the airport I'm wondering how much this beast is going to cost me and morbidly curious as to how much she weighs. And in the back of my mind, I can't help wondering if I'll get turned away. The moment approaches and I put big bertha on the scale. Now, I know she was big, but I had no idea that this thing I've been dragging around weighs 88 POUNDS! I could fit a small child in my bag and still have room. They could bring some meals, which I should have done. Well, if you're at all interested in how much an 88 pound bag costs, your wait is over. That bag cost me $100. 100 smack a roo's. I could hardly believe it myself, but at the expense of questioning the guy at the counter, I paid the nice man and went to security. It's hard to explain to people how different security is at a DC airport vs. oh, anywhere else. Every time I fly out of DC, I'm always amazed at how little attention they pay to what anyone else is doing in the security line. I'm not even sure they checked my ID. This guy had about a million other things that he would rather be doing than sitting at that job at 6:30 in the morning. Trust me buddy, when the terrorists won, it kind of ruined my day too. But then as I eased further into line I spotted them. THEM. You know, "those people". The people that are probably from Omaha but act like they are the trendiest people on the planet. Allow me to describe. Him, messy hair, 80's sunglasses, red and black checkered shirt, carrying all the bags for HER. Her, blonde Asian (reflect on that for a moment), shirt cut down to there, tight sparkly leggings. And the conversation I could hear made me want to pretend to be deaf. They get up to the actually security line, don't have enough containers. The lady behind them grabbed two, b/c she needed them. The guy, actually took one of her containers b/c he needed it and didn't think twice. The only thing you could have really done was laugh. So I did. It was really funny. I just hoped and prayed they weren't on my flight. And thank God for small favors b/c they weren't. All goes well boarding on the flight. I sit down and have everything I need around me. The guy in the aisle seat looks normal enough. And then he gets on the phone. "Hey baby. Oh, I miss you too. I love you so much. Happy Anniversary. Oh baby, don't say that". Meanwhile, he's not noticing me throwing up in my mouth and trying to keep it to myself. It's early sir, I'm happy you love your wife or whoever, but really, some of us haven't eaten yet. And this isn't a young guy, he's probably in his mid forties. Oh wait, actually he's 45, he told me, b/c after he hung up with the "no you hang up first, no you, no you"..he started talking with me. Come to find out, this bozo does this all the time. Leaving his wife is normal. Apparently he was only home 20 weeks last year. Seriously?!?!?!? Don't get me wrong, I can't wait for the day when someone actually misses me so much they can't stay away from me that long, but when you're essentially a rock star and on the road that much, is this your conversation every time? I'd have to ask my husband if he packed my skirts with him. There is no way that wouldn't drive me up a wall. So, this happened again when we landed in Phoenix. And since I still really hadn't had a meal, it made me sick again. Different strokes for different folks. This brings us to Phoenix. Oh Phoenix, I don't think I've seen a better people watching airport in my life. But this is the flight where I fell in love. Our flight attendent was possibly the cutest, oldest man I've ever seen in the air. Or at least working in the air. There is no way this guy was under the age of 75. Oh Randy, you're the first person I've ever watched do the security shpeel before we took off. I was just enamored by him. He made room for every single roller bag and got them up there himself. When he was asking the people in the emergency row if they could help, I couldn't help but wonder if he could. He was just so animated. I bet he was the ladies man when he was my age. Of course that would have been 40 years ago and I'm not entirely sure I would be his type anyway, if you know what I'm saying. I was sad to say goodbye to ole Randy, but so happy that I was finally closer to my destination. The bag/toddler came out, no problem. Got on the rental car shuttle and I was getting closer and closer. As I walk into the rental car terminal, I notice that the only line in the place was at the company I was renting through. I know that these guys were the cheapest option, but this is a little suspicious. I have a history of picking these rental car companies that are, in a word, shady. Apparently the "gentlemen" that were in line in front of me were not happy at the process of the whole thing. Look, when you rent through a place called Fox, are you really thinking you're going to get the 5 star service you would get with Hertz? No, not at all. They go ahead and leave b/c they were just dropping their cars off. Now I'm two people away from my destiny. The guy at the desk is having problems b/c his air isn't working. I'm all for getting your money's worth, but now I'm getting a little frustrated. I've been up since 5 am EST. I haven't had a real meal all day and you're complaining about your AC. Call the company buddy, you're going to get a little further. Finally the lady at the desk tells him that and now I'm one person away. I can't quite make out what this lady is doing, besides not renting a car. She's pulling out card, after card after card. Rental lady is telling her that if she uses a debit card, they rack another $250 on top of the rental fee. Lady starts crying. I don't want to seem heartless or anything, b/c trust me, I've been there, but COME ON! Get someone else behind the counter. Have a complaint department, SOMETHING, ANYTHING to help a sister out. I'm tired, I'm hungry and I just want to stop moving. I get my car, finally after an hour in line and make my way to Monterey. The drive is amazing. The weather is fantastic! It's like Spring, all the time. I need to leave in 30 minutes to go pick up my apartment keys and then head over to Pebble Beach for a look around. And then this girl is going to find a place to have a meal. I was going to try and find a movie theater since I haven't seen Sex and the City 2 yet, but since I have to be at work at 7:30 in the morning, I find it best to have some food and come back here to my nice and cozy dorm room. I will say this. After the day of travel that I have had, I don't miss dorm rooms one bit. I love my queen sized bed, in my 1200 square foot home, that I don't have to share with anyone. Sorry no pictures in this post. I'll hope to be better tomorrow.

Okay, so I had every intention of blogging last night when between Meg and I, we couldn't figure out how to log onto the internet on my computer. Since I was beyond exhausted, I gave up and worked on my emails off of hers. You won this round internet, but I'll show you in the end.

So, tomorrow is the big day! I'm kind of nervous about what this whole adventure is going to bring, but I'm so excited of the outcome that my emotions are playing a little bit of a tug of war right now. I have my suitcase packed, my maps all printed out, and the only thing I'm waiting on is my schedule for the week. I'm afraid that my suitcase might weight down the plane, but I guess if it's not heavier than me, I might be able to buy it its own ticket which might be cheaper than the baggage fee. Some may think that I'm packing Scout in it, and I've thought about it, but she'll have a much better time hanging out with Grandma and cousins Jake and Eleanor than she will sitting in an apartment for 20 days. I'll probably have a harder time adjusting than her :)

This is a short one today folks, but tomorrow is travel day and my first day telling you about my new adventures on the left coast. So much left to do today, if I don't get to it, I'll go back to bed.

Until tomorrow my fellow travellers!

Last Day of Work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Normally I would put something like this in all caps, but considering it's not my last day of work on the planet, I just figured I would stay with emphasizing the first letter of each word. Man, what a day yesterday. If I were to log the hours that I was actually in the office, it would probably be somewhere around 4 total. I had to drive to Duke for a lunch meeting where I visualized kicking the guys teeth in for being a complete a total waste of my time. I don't know if it was Ally McBeal or what show it was where they showed what the main character was wanting to do at that moment, but I totally visualize a ninja teeth kicking in moment. It was glorious. I mean, if I were to ever get fired from a job, I would want to make it worth my while. I would want to make it historical. I want people to be talking about the Legendary Katherine Galanty and what she did to get fired. But alas, I sat there and took it, like the everlasting professional that I am. Wouldn't want to tarnish my pristine reputation. Stop laughing ISPers.

Well, I started packing last night and let me tell you, it's not easy to pack for 20 days. The hardest part of this whole thing has been looking for the uniform to wear. Trying to find khaki pants and a white button down shirt in this town was like looking for a store to be open before 1 on a Sunday. And then after that mission was complete I had to go looking for some white cami's to go underneath, just to class it up a bit more. Even that mission turned into the search for the Holy Grail. These are staple items people. I'm not looking for a Hawaiian shirt in the middle of December, in Minnesota. It's a tank top. A simple white tank top. This story is just too good not to tell. So, I decide to take back the khaki pants I bought from Target since I found some longer ones at NYC & Co (yes Heather, I actually went into your store). I still had the receipt, shocker, so getting through the return line was no problem. With this $20 I decide we need to turn this into some cami's and knowing this is ALL I need at Target I figured I had some time to look around. So I head over to the women's section. Side note: remember when you were younger and thought that buying clothes at Target meant you were poor? If not, I'm a snob and pass by this section, but they have some really cute stuff there. If I thought getting off (forgive the pun) target at the mall was hard, shopping here was even tougher. Okay, so here I am in the women's section LOOKING FOR TANK TOPS KATHERINE when I spot what I thought would be a friendly Target worker. The names have been changed b/c this lady sucked at life so I figured I would throw a little insult her way.
ME: Excuse me, Flow?
FLOW: Yeah (note: she had a price gun in one hand and if she were outside, she would definitely have either a cigarette or bourbon/PBR/Budweiser in the other)
ME: Where can I find your cami's?
FLOW: (researching her rolodex of words in her head to come up with cami) Cami's? Oh, yeah those, they're over there. (IMPORTANT NOTE: There is no finger pointing or assisting me to where "over there" might be. She simply hovers her hand in a general direction of the rest of the department)
ME: Okay.....Thanks?
FLOW: Wait, you need a bra top in 'em or no?
ME: No
FLOW: Yeah, over there (again with the hover)
So I head in the direction that Lewis/Clark gave me and I spot a rack of black and nude tank tops. I'm like MOTHER F*&%ER. If I had been specific I think she still would have sent me over here so I guess it doesn't matter what color I need, she got it right. She might be smarter than a 5th grader. Anyway, so here I am with two options, but I'm thinking to myself, if I can't find a white tank top in this store, in the summer, I will boycott this place, so I continue my own exploration. Upon wandering into the Target designer area, I spot some more and this time they are white. YES! This has to be.....WTF! You have to be kidding me. The only sizes they have are L and XXL. And I know that Flow isn't going to want to go in the back and see if they have any other sizes. This isn't that kind of store. What you see is what you get. I spot another Target worker bee and can't figure out if this one is a guy or a girl, so I decide against asking Pat and head into the "intimates" department. Thinking that there might be a sleep shirt or something similar I can wear underneath. I'm looking everywhere and spot some cami bra tops. I had a bra in one hand and my phone in the other, about to text my cousin if this would be acceptable. I decided that if I couldn't find anything else, than I could go to the Target by my parents house and buy this. So, I walk around a little more. Now, I feel that I have this sad cloud above my head that is preventing this whole thing from being easy. I'm getting deep into the bowels of the Target intimates when I see the Hanes section. I figure, they sell panties in a box, and socks in a box, maybe they have some undershirts in a box too. Wow, that came out all Dr. Seussish. I'm in desperate search mode along the wall of intimates when all of a sudden, the cloud above my head turns into a glorious rainbow and right there between the bikini briefs and boy shorts are camis in all sizes and colors. And to top it off, they are cheaper than the other crap I was looking at before. I swear to God, if I had not found these, I was about to lay down on the ground and have the worlds biggest temper tantrum in the store. I would put those infants to shame with what I was about to do. But I left the store with $4 more in my pocket than I had when I came in and the only thing I bought was what I went in the store to get.

Total change of subject, but my brothers album was released yesterday. I know I had sent the link before, but check it out his website: www.autumntwilights.com. If you like what you hear, buy the album please. I know he's worked really hard to get this done.

Okay, I for real need to finish some stuff around here before I head out of the office again.

T-storms, and wine fests and cupcakes, oh my!

What a weekend! There is so much to report on so I'm going to get right to it.

Friday: HOOOOOOOLY CRAP! If God is trying to tell the people of Clemmons something, they should have gotten the hint on Friday. Short of a tornado, I don't think I've ever lived to talk about a storm so bad. It was my day for Campbell duty, so I head on over to the casa de Ealy to let Scout and Campbell play around. Oh, Campbell is a dog, in case you didn't figure that one out. That's kind of the first thing I should have mentioned I guess. I figured that I had about 2 hours before I needed to head to Charlotte to pick Kristen up from the airport, so there was plenty of time. When I got to the house, the sky was bluish, the birds were chirping and the dogs were romping. Within minutes of me walking to the front to check on the mail, giant rain drops were dive bombing from the sky. I felt like small Alice when it started raining on her. Apparently Campbell is not a big thunderstorm fan and since dogs can sense things way before people, she started going nuts. Scout has absolutely no issues with storms and think they are annoying when she's trying to sleep, but even she was playing off of Campbell's energy. So we move the party inside. I sit down and am still thinking to myself that I have plenty of time to run home, drop Scout off, grab something to eat and head out. Mother nature had some other plans. So as I turn on the television and pet Campbell, wondering why she's so clingy I think to myself, where is that cat? I had gone upstairs to see if Frank (cat) was up there, no sign. Look all over downstairs, no sign. Then I thought, perhaps if I feed him, he'll come out. Small issue, no food left out. Yikes. I now do the inventory on what has surfaced in the past 5 minutes. I have two dogs going bananas, one missing cat, and no cat food and the thunderstorm has now turned into intermittent hail. And to top it off, the satellite has gone out, so if there was a tornado coming through, there is no way of knowing b/c that contact to the outside world is gone. So I pick up the phone and start to text Laura, owner of house. Where is cat food? Then I text Nicole, cat owner. If I were a cat, where would I keep my food? As I'm doing this, there is a HUGE crack of thunder and lightening which lit up the entire house. Okay, time to sit down b/c now I'm scared. So I gather the dogs around me, open the blinds to watch the world ending. The wind is blowing so hard it's like sheets of rain. The hail is the size of my head and pelting down on the roof. I can see the neighbors standing at their doors watching this storm go by as well. As I'm making up stories in my head of what these other people have going on in their houses, the Auburn flag that is NAILED into the side of their house goes flying by. GULP. Now this is getting serious. I get up to check the back of the house, just out of curiosity, and their gutter is blowing in the wind. Rain and hail are falling down like it's coming out of a bucket. Inventory check. Dogs still going nuts, I now have no cell service, still no satellite, no food, but found the cat. I'm not sure if I'm moving in the right direction or not, but now it's getting closer to 8 and I need to leave soon. So, when there is a break in the action, I grab the puppies, make them pee one more time and pray that neither of them get hit by lightning, or the gutter. Success is made and we should have empty bladders for the rest of the night. Now I have to make sure everyone is tucked in for the night. Who goes first? Well, I had to put Scout in the car, so the cat would make it out from underneath the couch. I put Campbell in her crate and lock it. Lure Frank out from under the couch with treats, pick him up, bring him to his tree while he's wiggling the whole time. Close the door and head to the car...right when my phone rings. It's Kristen, her flight is cancelled and she won't be able to make it out here until Sunday. I'm thinking my night is going pretty bad, but it could be worse. I head into my neighborhood to find the first two trees on the drive split in half by lightening. Turn the corner onto my street in and in the middle is a giant tree. Thank God this is not in my front yard and if it was, thank God again that Scout is with me. I turn around and head the other way down my street and on the other side, another tree is down. I can make my way around this one and tuck my car safely into the garage. I feel like I don't want to leave again for a very long time. I'm mentally exhausted. I could sleep for 2 years after this night. And that was just Friday night.
Saturday: Wine festival day. This day I look forward too for the whole year. It's an amazing day. All the ladies gather at my house at 10:30 to share in bagels and juice and sangria. It's supposed to be cloudy and raining, but this is further proof that God is either a woman or loves himself some wine. We find a great spot in the shade, set our supplies down and have ourselves a great time. Kristen has tried to re-book her flight for 5:30 that day, but of course b/c of the terrible weather we're supposed to have it gets pushed back again. What does this mean? It means we can have ourselves a little more wine. It never gets out of control, it never gets too hot, it's just the most perfect wine festival. There is even a tent with cheesecake samples. CHEESECAKE SAMPLES! It's like it couldn't be more perfect if it tried. Just as things were dying down and we were talking about heading out, I decided to get up to go get myself some slices to go. As I'm standing in line, I notice that next to the Cheesecake tent is a palm and tarot card reader. I've always wanted to go to this lady and there was a line, so I thought, why not. I sat myself down and got ready to be amazed. I believe in a few things and this is one. I don't think people can be so spot on with so many things and be hokie. You really do have to believe to pay the money though. Now, I'm not going to change my life over what she says or anything, but since she was so right about so many things, her voice will be constantly be in the back of my mind. I don't know if it's good luck or changes the outcome of my future or not, but I don't think sharing what I learned from her so publicly would be a good move. So, I will share in person, but not electronically. All I will say is that the babies room will be green or yellow b/c I want to be surprised.
Monday: FREE CUPCAKE DAY!!! I didn't think or know such a day existed. There are two things in life that I love the most, to eat. Cupcakes and Cheesecake. And to think I got both for free this weekend, make my head almost explode. I also found more khaki pants that fit and some button down white shirts. It's like yesterday was made for me. AND on top of it, I actually worked out. And then got up this morning and did it again. After my proclamation on Sunday that I just didn't want to do it anymore b/c I don't think my body has changed at all. I just really wanted to eat that cupcake and the only way I was going to do it was if I worked out. I'm proud of myself too.

Upon numerous requests, I think I am going to stick less to P90x talk and more on just the haps of my life. Starting Sunday I will try and keep a daily journal on my trip at Pebble Beach. I will try to include pictures and try and Bogart a video camera somewhere too. I just think that documenting this occasion and sharing it with you all will make it 10x more enjoyable.