Oh Fatty McGee, you're the fattest!

Isn't it utterly amazing how one can feel like they've been running around all day and then accomplish nothing? These past couple of days have been so exhausting for me and I don't think I've really done anything. I mean sure, I've helped a friend in need out, and I've been to the gym twice, finished reading a book, almost finished the entire season two of Friday Night Lights, so how in the world can I be so tired right now? What have I actually done? Maybe it's all this excess weight I'm carrying around. I would like to officially tell my friends that they are in punishment. How could NO ONE tell me how much I've been letting myself go?!?!? I stood on the scale in the trainers office yesterday and wanted to cry. I know my pants/shorts were fitting a little snug, but I just thought I was retaining water, not food! And upon analysis, I could actually lose 23 pounds. 23 POUNDS! WTF! It was right then and there that I decided it might not matter what in the world might also cost $360, this lady was going to train me for the next 2.5 months to lose this terribleness. I mean, where did it all come from?!?!? I saw pictures of me from Chicago and can't believe that ANY ONE would have wanted to spend time with my frumpy ass. I didn't give a crap what I was looking like. T-shirts and shorts every day. Makeup, if you were lucky. A shower, but definitely no hair drying. There is being on vacation and then there is just plain letting yourself go. Not to mention that on Monday, after an extremely mentally stressful weekend, I was welcomed by my step mom asking me if I wanted to go to Weight Watchers with her as "you know, a girly thing to do". HOLY CRAP people! So that was it for me. This lady had me sweating like the fat girl I am, and I still stayed an extra 30 minutes to ride the bike. Today, I managed to take a Pilates class, followed by another 45 minutes on the bike and a 30 minute steaming hot walk up to the library to return the book. I'm so baffled. How does one take their dog for a minimum 30 minute walk, every day, in the blazing heat, walking at least under a 15 minute mile and still feel like she should apologize to the bike she's sitting on? In case you couldn't tell, I'm a little disappointed in myself here. Once I let the P90x go, everything else just went with it. And to top it off, I want nothing more than to shove a mouth full of carbs into my pie hole! Did my body just say, hey guess what 32 year old, you think you can go off and eat that piece of pizza and it's not going to show up on your tire or your ass anymore? Think again hot shot! Well, I'll show you fat ass! So what if I can't reach my calves when asked to touch them in Pilates (on my back people, I'm not THAT bad yet)?! I'll get there. So what, if my shirt is soaking wet when I leave the gym and I've been there an hour and 45 minutes?! No excuses any more. Trainer Katie says that the biggest reason people don't workout is because of time. She then went on to look at me and tell me that I don't get that excuse. I have nothing but time. So, in true fat girl fashion, I asked her how long one should stay at the gym doing their lifting. Hoping that there might be some sort of loop hole right now. Oh no, that excuse caboose is leaving the station. My mission will now be that cardio will be done at least 30-45 a day, along with 3 days a week of lifting. And I will go through my expenses and find a way to have Katie train me at least one of those days. I have to have someone kick my ass and tell me what a sweaty pig I am :o) I'm leaving to go gnaw on a lettuce leaf or two.