Car Shopping

Is there really anything worse in the world than shopping for a car? I defy anyone to tell me something more stressful and time consuming than this activity. Yes, okay I have a pretty kick ass car. And I do love it SO much. However, there is not enough room in this car for both me and Scout. If my little roadster was a 4 door, it might be a little easier, but it's not. I'm not entirely sure they make 4 door convertibles. And the payments on this thing....Ridiculous! In my former life, paying for my car was a drop in the bucket. With my two part time jobs, while trying to start my own company life, I need to keep as much money in the bank as I possibly can. So, the goal, get a bigger car, with a smaller monthly payment. Seems like a lot to ask, right? Trust me, it is. And again, it's not like I drive a piece of crap car either, but it seems that everywhere I go, the trade-in value of this sucker keeps decreasing! I think if I walk into one more dealership and they quote me a price lower than what I've been getting from everywhere else, I might actually lay on the floor and throw a good old fashion temper tantrum. And just to make matters worse, I know NOTHING about cars. I know they have tires, I know they have an engine, and unlike my father, I do know where the windshield wiper fluid goes. Yeah, that's a story for another time. But I couldn't tell you what type of engine I want. I could care less the circumference of my tires, or rims. And I sure as hell don't understand gas mileage. So, I did what any person in my position would do, I went to the closest car expert that I could think of. Bless his little heart, he did all this research and rated cars for me and then told me what I could expect to pay and what my price range would be, and I kid you not, I had no idea what he was talking about. I'll admit, I'm a little vain when it comes to appearances, so I don't want an SUV that looks like a mini-van and trust me, these days, THAT is hard to come by. I don't want a Honda, no matter how hard you push me. And I need to fit in my back seat. I understand that I will not be sitting there at all times, but the people in which I drive around are usually my height or a little shorter, so I have standards. It's almost as if I need to put a measuring stick outside my car and say you must be this small to ride in the back seat. Standing on her hind legs, Scout wouldn't even meet this requirement, that's how small my back seat is now. Well, why not put her in the front, you might be asking yourself? Ah, I used to do that, until I went to doggie CPR class and they showed a video of a dog, in an accident, FLYING out of the window. In this same video they showed another dog sticking their head out of the window and getting nailed by debris off the road. Immediately I went out and bought a dog seat belt and strapped her into the back without rolling any windows down. Her favorite activity of riding in the car has now become her least favorite thing to do. So, now you understand my dilemma?!?!? No, I'm not buying a car for my dog, but I do need to be practical these days. Although I am moving to Texas by the spring and my convertible will be amazing there, currently we live in a climate where it has already snowed a few inches and my car was the ONLY one on the block that got stuck on the giant hill, one street away from my parents house. Not convenient at all. Without boring you with all the gory details of my adventures I will wrap it up in a simple little bow(Christmas reference and all):

Mercedes: The first car they wanted to show me wouldn't even start in the cold. Yeah, no, not even going to look at that car because it didn't start in the cold. Then proceeded to completely insult me and told me that my car wasn't worth anything because of what happened to the bumper. However, the one good thing that came out of it was that they gave me the name of some auto body shop that fixed my car for $60 under the table. THIS is why I love Italians.

Carmax: The "no haggle" approach was very appealing, however, the guy I set up my appointment with, didn't even bother to show up. Not to mention that this place was 30 minutes away and it was COLD out. So, the slap dick that helped me didn't quiet understand what I meant when I said I wanted to lower my payments each month. He was showing me around the lot and trying to get me to walk into every single car I saw. After our tour, we walked back into the dealership where he got my trade-in price, $4,000 lower than I wanted and tried to get me into another car at a price that I could buy a new car for. Clearly he wasn't understanding the mission. Walk out.

GMC: Here is where I actually almost lost it. This guy was trying to up sell me and kept making comments how I rolled in there with my BMW and I should be ready to buy. Kept asking me what Carmax quoted me and told me that they would match it. I kept telling him to give me a quote and we would go from there. Obviously I speak sales. He told me nothing about the cars I wanted to look at. Explained nothing of the differences in any of the models. Took me on a test drive and said nothing. I asked him why he didn't say a word and he said it was because people walk in and know what they want. The cars sell themselves. Here is what I wish this guy didn't do. I wish he hadn't had me drive an Acadia. I wish the only car I stepped foot in was the Terrain, because now I want the higher end car. Champagne wish on a very cheap ass beer budget. I guess he was right....

So, what to do, what to do? They are calling for a big snow storm over Christmas and I want to lower my payments ASAP. The issue is the other GMC dealership, that has the car I want, at the price I want, isn't open on Friday. Who the hell isn't open on Christmas Eve?!?!?!? Maybe Santa will let me borrow his sleigh for a few months. It's not like he needs it after Saturday. Not to mention that I haven't finished my Christmas shopping, I have crap to do all up until Christmas day so I really don't have time for this nonsense. Calgone....take me away!

time waster

Could someone please explain to me the point of EVER having doctors appointments? I think I might die of shock the day that I actually get to see the doctor on time. Or maybe have them wait just as long for you as you did for them. But thank God I wasn't sitting in there dying of the swine flu again because then we might have a wee bit of an issue. So, this ear thing still hasn't gone away. For the past two months, or so, (I'm going to go ahead and emphasis the word so and use that as another months time) the blockage in my ear has slowly swollen to the point that I'm really just brushing up on my sign language, in case I have to pull it out. Last night, I went as far as to look up and old Sicilian remedy and warm olive oil over the stove, stick a cotton ball in it, and then stick that in your ear. It's supposed to cause "instant" relief. I'll go ahead and leave that to the real Italians, because this girl got nothing out of sticking olive oil in her ear, except and ear full of olive oil. So, as I came into job number one this morning, I figured it might be time to call the old doctor again. And not the nut job I went to see the last time, who gave me an inhaler for all my symptoms and told me that everything would go away in a matter of days, because here we are months later and it still sounds like the ocean in my right ear. So, at 10:30 we called a new doctor. They happened to have an opening at 12:15 that same day, so I took it. Since I was a new patient, I knew I had to get there early, but who knew there would be construction on a two lane road that caused me to arrive at the appointment only a few minutes ahead of schedule. Upon arrival, I was shooed into the back office to fill out paperwork. Here I was welcomed by three "lovely" women, who had about a million better things to do than wait on me. I was honestly told to sit down, RIGHT NEXT to one of them, while she talked to her co-worker about when the secret Santa gifts were passed out and why she hadn't gotten one yet. This is just me assuming, but if her personal life is any reflection of her professional life, I'm going to have a guess as to why her stocking is empty, I'm just saying. As the clock now ticked 12:25, I am ushered, correction, directed back into the waiting room with absolutely no explanation. I sit as I watch patient after patient approach the reception desk, asking how long it was going to take, considering they had been there since 11:45 am. Gulp! Thinking to myself, this is going to be a while, I get comfy in my chair and play some Angry Birds on my phone. Just as I'm passing the level to which I have been combating for a few days now, my name is called! Hooray! I mean, bully for you all, but this is what I'm talking about. It is here that I am actually escorted to the nurses station and left in a room...for the next...45 minutes. Like I said before, I'm glad I wasn't actually deathly ill because this would have been the worse timing to switch doctors, but what in the world was taking this lady so long?!?! I literally called in an hour before my appointment, which meant that at that time, if they were running behind, they might have wanted to give a little heads up, or maybe not schedule someone so that they could take that next hour to play catch-up. But there I sat. There were a few times I thought about collecting my things and walking out, but the damage had already been done. As the door to my gym says, half the battle was getting here. So, after a few games of Angry Birds, much studying of the anatomy of the insides of me, my incredibly social awkward doctor walks in. Only to tell me exactly what I knew was wrong. I'm telling you guys, if it weren't for the blood and guts, I could have totally been a doctor. Two minutes later, and $30 lighter, I'm out the door. I should have sat there and made that lady listen to how my day was going, or something. She had me wait for an hour for her, why not do the same? If I could find a job where I only work an hour a day and make over $100k I might just totally walk away from this dog day care idea. I'm just saying!!!!

Everything is coming up Roses

In my entire adult life, I have not been more excited about a sporting event. Sure, okay I went to the Olympics in Torino and the World Series when the Tigers were playing, and a few Super Bowls, but none of that means anything if it isn't personal! Over the weekend, due to the wins by both Oregon and Auburn, TCU was "forced" to accept a bid to the Rose Bowl on New Years Day. It's the Granddaddy of all Bowl games and guess who is going?!?!?!? That's right! Yours truly! Tickets have been purchased, plane tickets were bought this morning, housing provided by brother bear Galanty and the excitement level has been amped up to 12. It was a GREAT ending to my weekend! Not only that, but Laura gets to come with me so I'm not in the stands with my face painted alone. How awkward that would have been! I could really only be the T or C or U with no one to follow. How sad, but now I have a partner in crime! I'm not entirely sure this blog entry gives my excitement justice either. If I had rafters where I was right now, I would be hanging from them, in the good way too. If someone wasn't working below me, I would not be able to walk anywhere, I would have to hop, skip and jump with excitement. My face will have a permagrin until Jan 2 when all of this is over. I think that paints a little better picture :o) I'm excited......

But let's recap the weekend, shall we? September 11 was a terrible tragedy, and in the DC area, life was completely changed from that day forward. I know most people view NYC as the headquarters of this crisis, which is where the worse devastation was, but their daily lives have not really changed security wise. Case in point, before September 11, most any one was allowed into the White House to view the Christmas spectacular that was the trees in all the rooms. Since then, you have to know someone pretty high up on a list to get in the doors. Luckily, I do, and I got to go. I don't think you really appreciate what you have around you until you're away from it for a long time. Without pictures, because my friend hasn't sent any to me yet, I'm going to have to paint a virtual picture for you. I'll try to contain my typing ADD for a little while to give this thing justice. First of all, it was cold. Considering that it's been way warmer than normal in this area, this sudden onset of cold was not something we were all prepared for. So only standing around in your jacket, without scarf of gloves was a bit of a buzz kill at the beginning. Because, once again, thanks to the lovely Selehay's who crashed the White House dinner, we now have to stand in three lines of security to make sure you're on the list. And when your finger tips are going numb, it's a bit much. But, once you walk through the last phase of pat downs, it makes it all worth it. You enter through the main doors into a wood panelled hallway of history. You are greeted with the sites, sounds and smells of Christmas. It was the first real time I felt that Christmas was just around the corner. There were rows of garland that lead us to the first group of rooms that held trees. If memory serves, it was the Library, First Ladies room and Music room. All rooms were so warm and inviting and each decorated with a different themed tree. Of course they were roped off so our view was from the doorway, but I was not expecting anything less. As you make your way down the hallway, to the giant staircase, you are blocked off from going further by a guard and partitions. Apparently, Obama himself was in house so the security measures were amped up a bit. I was hoping to "accidentally" run into him which would only make this experience that much more amazing. Considering we couldn't go any further, we make our way up the giant staircase. At the top, we are greeted by a very friendly lady standing at a table asking folks to fill out a Holiday wish card to our troops. I consider this an extremely important stop on the tour and fill out a card, immediately. A friend of mine is deployed this Holiday season, away from his wife and kids and I write a note as if he is the one going to receive it. As, we move on, we head down the main hallway which is lined with dried flower decorations against the windows and past White House Christmas tradition pictures along the wall. These date back so far and have so much history attached to them, it's so interesting to see what goes on behind closed doors. This hallway, leads us to the room containing the gingerbread house of the White House and a decoupage Bo. Also, hanging on the walls are framed pictures of ALL the White House Christmas cards ever sent! It was so interesting to see how even art work progresses throughout the years. How similar in taste some Presidents were. Here's a trivia question for you, who is the only president to have a picture of himself and his wife on their card? The winner gets a big prize from me! As we exit the Christmas card room, we are now heading into the main portion of our tour. Here we head through the main dining room, the red room, the blue room, the ball room, and the grand entrance. Each room is more breathtaking than the next. Each tree, in each room is more exquisitely decorated than the next. Each room you walk into makes you more and more appreciative of where you are. The history of everything that is around you. The detail that has gone into each and every room that you walk through is thought out and on purpose. The grander of it all, is so much to take in. And, then you think, wow, just hours earlier, the President of the United states was standing, RIGHT HERE giving a speech to the country. Or the very next day, the Kennedy Center honorees were sitting in the place where I just walked through! It's really hard to wrap your head around. Or at least it was for me. Although I was making fun of my friend for taking so many pictures, I do hope that he tags me in them on Facebook, so that I can show you just how amazing living here is. As you leave, you are exited by carolers who sing you into the rest of your night. As you walk out of the white house and head down 14th street and look back, it just makes you think of how lucky you have been to do what you just did. If you can, google White House Christmas pictures and see what comes up. And then think to yourself, wow, what a lucky girl she was :o)

Insanity

I understand the the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. But I'm not referring to that form of insanity. Apparently, once you've graduated from the P90X world, the next level of nuts is called Insanity. Last night, after Heather got home from work, I made her go change her clothes and hit the basement for 40 minutes of the most movement I've done in a while. Shaun T had us butt kicking, high kneeing, doing in and outs with only 3 30 second breaks. When I work out with Tony, I'm guaranteed a long time to grab some water, maybe towel off, yell at Scout to leave to room, but this guy defines the word intense. I had sweat on top of sweat. And it's not the kind of sweat where you start off right away and build. Oh no, this is all of a sudden you are hit with a truck and want to die and the only thing that might save your life is sweating, sweat. I'm going to regret saying this, but I'm glad I did it though. I wasn't really interested in heading over to the local Glen Burnie Golds, considering my Monday night trip was a bit of a let down. It's hard walking into a foreign gym where you have no idea where anything is and your routine involves equipment which they may or may not have. I will say this though. Out of complete shock the clientle at this gym was rather good looking. I was expecting WAY worse than what I saw and I'd totally holla at some of these boys.

A little moody boy update. This morning we woke up and everything was coming up roses! We were laughing and talking and smiling! Status report as of 10:30, right before nap time...All systems go. I have figured out that children are very manipulative though. At a very early age, they have this power of persuasion over their parents. You see, I've figured out that all parents want when their kids are little is for their kids to like them. So when someone else, not related to them, comes on the scene, they don't usually take a lot of their crap. Take for instance little man, who I dearly love and adore. When his mom is around, he's moody and crabby and gets away with almost anything. Starts to cry when he's not getting what he wants. So, as a good mom, she does whatever she can to make him happy. Now, when momma goes away to work, I know he's just trying to work the system, so when I need to go to the bathroom, I have to put him in his play area. He starts to whine and work himself up into a cry, but I REALLY have to go to the bathroom. As I'm gone for a little while, he stops. This, I have also found, works with the word no. I do not believe that anyone likes to hear the word no, but when it comes to children not one of them likes to hear it. So when you say, no, don't climb on the stairs because you aren't going to know how to get down, they really don't like that. Sure, I let him play up there yesterday, but today is a new day, with a new attitude and today is the day we aren't going to play on the stairs. It's all good though. He's a great kid and I've got to hand it to him. If I were in a mood and didn't know any other way to express myself, I would have been a million times worse than he was.

All in all, a pretty good day so far. I'm very excited to see my puppy when I go home tonight. I can't imagine what sort of mischief she's gotten herself into, but at this point, mommy doesn't mind :o)

Off to search for some more Rose Bowl potential tickets.

Until Tomorrow!

I'm not going to lie, I'm really bad at this blogging thing. I know you agree with me, but it's hard. Do I sit down at the beginning of the day and recap what happened the day before? Or do I sit down every night and fill this thing out like a diary? Let me try the latter one first, only let's pretend right now is night time and I'm recapping all the days events.

Dear blogiary,

Today was an eventful day, that's for sure. We can't seem to figure out what is making Tristan so fussy, but he is. It can't be he's hungry, because that boy can eat! It can't be that he's tired, because that boy can sleep! And it certainly can't be because he needs changing, because I just changed a diaper full of an assplotion that would make any ones eyes water. I don't remember this kid eating so much to require such a full diaper, but this one might be for the record books. In any case, he's down for his second nap now. As I monitor his progress on the momitor, it appears that putting him down early, might not matter as he'll probably still not fall asleep for an hour. The great news is that he's such a good kid in his crib (and everywhere else) that he really won't fuss and when he's tired he'll just fall asleep.

So, onto me. I made some GREAT progress today in the dog daycare proposal. I finished mapping out the "competition" in the area to add to the entire thing. Turns out, what I'm offering and where I'm offering it is really going to be successful, or I hope. I've already worked two days in a local day care here, to get a feel for what it would be like and let me tell you have I learned some life lessons. Instead of being taught how one should run a day care, I'm learning what not to do. It's nuts! If your primary business is dogs, you should probably care less about paying your employees overtime and more about the fact that one of your dogs was left and wasn't fed. It's a completely humbling process to go from being an executive to working part time at a dog day care. I keep telling myself that this is GREAT experience and that it doesn't matter that the only person older than me that works there is the owner. I can do anything for the next six months. If it's longer than that, I would suggest checking the ceilings in my parents house and make sure that I'm not hanging from it.

Speaking of living with your parents, don't. I love my parents dearly, but honestly, living there again after not having a room mate for 8 years is REALLY tough! The disagreements that the two of them have are some of the most ridiculous conversations I've heard. You can almost pinpoint the moment when the two of them miscomunicate and it turns from a discussion, to a disagreement. And then someone takes it too far and then I just have to walk away. And then there is poor little Scout. She doesn't know if she's coming or going. I had her going through doggie boot camp to try and get rid of some of her bad behaviors, but if everyone isn't on board and doing the same thing EVERY TIME, it doesn't work. So, she becomes the fall guy in a lot of instances, which makes me feel so bad for her. My parents are used to their old ass dog that doesn't do anything and here is Scout in all her puppy glory, just wanting someone to love her. I hate that I had to leave here at home while I was watching Tristan, but she wasn't able to come to work with me yet so there was no way I was going back to get her. She'll get to see me tomorrow and since dogs have no concept of time, she'll be fine.

So blogiary, in closing, I need to be better about revealing my feelings to you. So much can happen these days and I just need to make sure you know all about it! I hope I'm true to my word too because I feel like I've really let you down here.

Can I help you sir?

HOLY CRAP! I haven't written a blog in 16 days?!?!?!? What in the world have I been doing? Oh, yeah, that's right, painting my dads office building, including the hallway; working on my business plan; going on interviews for a part time job; and just about everything preventing me from writing to you all. And what have I learned in these days apart from you all? Oh life lessons that will last me forever. Allow me to indulge you all.

*Apparently I am overqualified for every job on earth. How do I know this? Because I have heard that phrase more times in the past three months than I care too. Look people, I'm not looking to save lives or cure cancer or anything, I'm just looking for a little pocket change so that I can pay the bills and keep up with my happy hour life. I met with Gaylord in Texas. I had four interviews with four different people and didn't get the job because although my event experience was extraordinary, I have no hotel experience. Then I go into a radio station where the interview was actually set up for me. The guy said that I was way overqualified for what he needed me to do, so why was I in the station in the first place. Had I thought of working for Westwood One...(Jim Halpert face. Obviously he didn't actually look at my resume) And then there was my favorite. Walking into a local dog daycare where the lady said to me that I was overqualified to work there. At this point I had actually had it hearing that statement and I said, "I'm sorry, I have absolutely no source of income right now and no experience working with pets.What exactly makes me too qualified to work here?" She was stumped considering that she just came from a 25 year career in marketing and advertising. And this, after we had already sat down and talked for an hour. ARGH!!!!! So, here I sit in my dad's office making $200 a week so that I can pay my bills. Two thumbs up...

*I would rather sell my eggs or get Malaria than work in another office building day in and day out. I'm serious too. For a majority of Saturday night, I was huddled in a group of people where I was offered to get Malaria for $5,000. My initial reaction was oh no, oh no, oh no, but then I asked what the worst that could happen would be. When I was told that the worst that would happen would be that I could potentially pee black, I'm actually considering it. I mean, we don't live in a third world country so if I were to get Malaria, wouldn't I want to get it here? And I'll get the vaccine right away if I happen to contract it so, where's the downside. It's not like I'm getting Herpes or Hep. That shit doesn't go away. You have that forever! So, like any good "what else could I sell on my body" conversation should go, this one progressed to selling your eggs. Rumor has it that there are people out there that will pay up to $14,000 for ONE egg. ONE! I'm almost 33 so my supply is dwindling down anyway. Why would I not want to help a family in need by giving them one of mine? I'm not planning on having any rug rats anytime soon, nor am I practicing it. So yesterday, I looked into it and what it involves. My rule being that if I'm not knocked out in this process there is no amount of money in the world that would replace that pain. All you have to do is give yourself injections and take hormones and not get pregnant before the egg is removed and you're that much richer. Where is the downside? I have never actually known anyone that has done this, and I probably would want to talk to someone first, but for someone that is looking for a financial backing for her dog day care, what better way than donating your body to science? Of course, I would have to give my egg before the whole Malaria thing, I have a feeling that families trying to have kids would frown upon it.

*No matter how old I get, boys in their twenties are the same as when I was in my twenties, I'm just now older and wiser, or so I hope. So, someone that I know went to this wedding and totally made out with this guy that she didn't even know his last name until she was told later. Nor did she realize how young he was until that fact was also brought to her attention. Neither of these pieces of information bothered her. It's when she went home and he started becoming that 25 year old boy that she realized what a horrible mistake just making out with someone can be. If there is one piece of advice I can give every girl in their twenties, or in their early to mid twenties it is this: leave them all alone. Let them do their thing until they are about 29 and then get them. These boys think they are such hot shit and want nothing more than to wait for ANYTHING better to come along, when in fact, it never does. In other words, these guys have no idea what they want, so let them try everything. Don't respond, don't go after them, don't chase them. Let them come to you. They will, I promise, but don't do the chasing. It's funny seeing it from this side of the fence, and I honestly used to hate people like me that would say these things as if I know better, but trust me on this one. I couldn't believe it was the same exact cycle that I've been through a million times, only this time I laughed. It's actually hilarious to watch when someone thinks that you have nothing better to do than chase after them. WAY too awesome for that :o)

*I should probably wear make-up more. Like when you go to Subway and the girl behind the counter, who is American, say, can I help you sir? Yeah.....

*Consistently listen to your father when he says to keep your mouth shut around your family. Opening it NEVER does good.

Okay, back to work, the "boss" just walked in and I should look like I'm doing something.

Harry Potter count down.....2 days!!! Can't wait married spice!

Madtherine

I believe inside all of us we posses an alter ego. It took me 32 years, but during this weekends activities, I finally named mine. Madtherine peaked her head out a few times this weekend. It was like a free for all for my alter ego. Allow me to share The Ugly Adventures of Madtherine:

Story number one: God bless the vet, but considering that there is WebMD for humans and nothing for animals, they could tell me that my little Scout has boogeritis and I would believe them. However, the ONLY reason I had to go to the vet on Friday was because Scout was out of heartworm medicine. Okay, people that don't own pets, I see you with your puzzled looks, but you can't just order heartworm medicine online. You actually have to have a prescription. It's honestly one of the most annoying things in the world. Like I'm going to OD my pet on heartworm meds, or take them myself. Absolute nonsense. Now, the important part of this story is that Meg had gone in to this same vet a few days prior to take ole Roscoe in for his old man tests. She had asked the vet tech what I needed to do to get a refill on the heartworm and to trade out the wrong flea and tick medicine that was sent to me. Armed with an informational post-it, Meg comes home and hands me the instructions on what I needed to do. Essentially all I needed to do was bring Scout in to get weighed, bring her medical records in and have my vet fax over a prescription. This sounds extremely easy enough for me to carve out a few minutes of my day to get this down. And, knowing how busy vet offices can be, I called to see what day and time would be best. I also reiterated the conversation that was had with Meg, so they knew what exactly I was going to do there. So, with flea and tick medicine, instructions from the vet, and Scout in tow, we head off to the vet. We walk in the door, and the time they had set for me two days ago, was entered into the system wrong. I was two hours early. But, there was no one in the lobby, so they decided they could take me. This is where I started to get confused because honestly the only reason I called was to make sure I was doing this all correctly. So, I started to ask some questions because I was simply going off the post-it instructions I was given. I thought my only requirement was to come in and weigh her and now the vet has to see us and they don't have the original heartworm medicine that Scout takes so they have to give me the name brand stuff. Apparently within the past two days, they have a new policy that they won't just give heartworm medicine, the vet actually has to see the dog. Which is the exact opposite of what we were told. This entire adventure sounds cheap already. Weight taken, only two pounds gained, way to go Scout, we head into the little room, as we wait for the vet to see us. Now, all of you reading this with pets understand what happens the second that a vet walks into the room, right? The price that you thought you were paying, automatically explodes. I had no issues with the dog. She doesn't need any shots, and honestly the ONLY reason we were in there was because the first vet tech gave Meg instructions. Something tells me that communication is not huge at this organization. I couldn't actually believe that we were getting a check up for heartworm medicine. After a few minutes of looking her over, the vet decides she needs to take her in the back to get a closer inspection. Since I had already asked, I reminded el doctor that we also needed a little anal gland extraction. Someone had been scooting their little behind around the floor. 20 minutes later, and a much cleaner rear end, we were escorted to the front where again I was reminded that they did not carry the original brand of heartworm medicine and I was going to have to pay for the upgrade. Fine, whatever. I need it so let's get this done. Then I brought out the F&T med again and asked if we could swap it out. To which the lady behind the desk said no. She actually told me no, when the other person had told Meg yes, all I had to do was bring the dog in. Now, my face is turning red and I'm getting really angry, when the lady hands me the bill. $170! ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY DOLLARS! You have to be out of your mind. Her anal gland extraction was $35 alone! I could have gone up to PetSmart and had them do it for $8, but I figured that it wouldn't be too much of a price jump from there. HOLY CRAP! I almost actually lost my entire mind right then and there. It was extremely hard for me to keep my cool. So, as I hand my credit card off to the tech, I make mention that that was an extremely expensive weigh in and that they probably should learn to talk with one another about what they say to their clients. I'm still in a little bit of disbelief that that whole thing happened, and then the weekend continued......

Story number two: There are a few things that you learn living in a big city. 1. The traffic sucks and you can't get anywhere in less than 30 minutes. 2. There is always somewhere to watch a game no matter who your team is and 3. If a major event comes to town, stay as far away from it as humanly possible. So, why did I think that going downtown for the Rally for Sanity/Fear would be an amazing idea? I love me some Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, but for all that is good and holy if I ever think that going to something historical would change my life for the better, I should think again. Allow me to start from the very beginning, I hear it's a very good place to start. A few of us had decided to meet outside of a metro stop downtown, as it would be the easiest mode of transportation to get there. So, I picked a friend of mine up and we headed over to the closest metro stop to us to which we were met with a WALL of people. Now, I have lived in this town for most of my life and never have I ever seen the train so jammed up with people, that I wasn't sure when we were actually going to be able to get on the train. It was a terrible time for my friend to tell me that she was claustrophobic and wasn't excited about this whole idea. After standing there for a few minutes and hearing from a local guy that the train stop that started this nightmare was on an hour and half delay, I made the executive decision to drive into the city. If you read that sentence with as much panic and I decided it, welcome to how my day would go. We actually made it into the city, no problem. Found a parking spot, no problem. Come to find out, the meter was broken. It was almost like it was meant to be. So what if we were actually 15 blocks from where we needed to be. I was okay with it. It was a nice day, I was being smothered by people, so why not enjoy it? We walk past the Washington Monument, Natural History Museum and right when I had the National Gallery of Art within my reach, the mob of all mobs was where we were. In the back of my mind, all I kept hearing my friend say was that she was claustrophobic. I still can't imagine why you would think coming to a rally would be a good idea, but here we were. I honestly felt like we were two little salmons, swimming up stream to get to our eggs. I was pushed and poked and prodded by people who wanted to "Keep Fear Alive" or "Restore Sanity". It was some of the craziest nonsense I've ever seen. We push on like this for what seems like forever, but only about 5-10 minutes. We find a stream of people that are heading in the same direction we are, and follow them. They lead us to one of the doors of the Gallery and I figure, why not just take this to the front and try to find my friend. Only, I actually don't know where she is because we have no cell service. Thinking that about 1,000 people will have this same idea, we head to the front, where there is more space than I know what to do with. I have absolutely no idea why the area outside the sculpture garden is so populated. In any case, we find a great place to stand where there aren't that many people around, right in the nick of time. Well, I guess I should say we find a great place where we can see the big screen TV, but can't hear a damn word that's being said. It was great people watching, but not really historic to me because I had no idea what was going on. And we still didn't have cell service. So, we stand around living the dream for 2 hours. When, at 2 pm, I felt as if I was literally going to pass out. I couldn't remember the last meal I ate, and it was kind of warm and we weren't drinking a lot of water and had been around a lot of people. So, we needed to find food stat. I wasn't really sure how far I could walk, that's how low my blood sugar was. We head right back out the way we came and are met with streets full of people, which meant that finding a place where we could get food was completely absurd and out of the question. The hot dog guys on the street had a line an hour long. I just needed something! We start to walk down the street in the direction of our car, when we find an historic DC landmark that sells burgers. DONE! We walk in and are greeted with another long line of people. Holy crap! Do these people ever stop? The answer, is no. We get up to the front, order our food and I decide to get us a table because who knows how much busier this place is going to get. ONE HOUR LATER, my friend is coming around the corner with our food. I am not even exaggerating a little bit with this story. There were moments during that hour that I had my head on the table slowly passing out. Some of you might have actually received texts from me during that time because I was willing myself to stay awake. If I wanted to know what dehydration with possible starving to death would feel like, it was then. And it sucked! I'm not entirely sure that the food was any good either. I ate it so fast I got the worst belly ache. And then we had to walk another 10 blocks back to the car and sit in traffic, because just like the theory of relativity, what comes in, must go out. All in all, it was quiet possibly the worst experience of my life and I'm not entirely happy that I went. ......Which leads us to

Story number three: Now, I wasn't keeping the best story for last, so don't get your hopes up that we're ending on a bang here, but I just wanted to keep the theme alive of just how much my temper was tested this weekend. So, lately Scout and I have been going to the local dog park because I've gotten a little lazy with walking her and it's just getting cold. Sunday was just another day in which I knew a lot of dogs would be out and she would get her energy released. Which makes me a very happy person. (not to mention my room mates love her being tired as well) After about 45 minutes of playing on dry land, I could tell she was getting hot, so I decided to take her down in the river. You can only imagine how dirty a river in a dog park could be,which is important in telling this story. And people let their dogs poop and pee in this river and no one really says anything because it's gross. So, Scout was WAY out in the water when I saw her popping a squat to poop. I really didn't think anything of it and was secretly rooting her own, when to my right, I hear a lady say, you're going to go clean that up. To which my response was, no, I'm really not. Please do not read this and think that I'm one of those dog owners that doesn't clean up after my dog, because I'm not. I'm extremely anal about it and HATE when others don't clean up, but it's a river and it's cold and I have shoes on and no. But this lady was not giving up. She kept taunting me and telling me that I was to go clean it up. So, I took my shoes off and heading into the water. The extremely cold, disgusting, dirty, water. I thought I was going to throw up in it, it was so gross. I began to look, and look, and look. I was walking slow and looking everywhere. When apparently I had gone too far, poop Nazi calls out, "I think it's closer this way". I respond with my glaring eyeballs that I was secretly wishing were laser beams. I had looked "closer this way". I had looked further out. When she said, "I think it's a little more out there" and started pointing, I had finally had it. I simply said, "would you really just shut the fuck up?" Yes, I actually did. I know it's not right and it's not polite and it might actually get me kicked out of the dog park forever, but when someone is telling you to pick up your dogs poop and standing 50 yards away from you, yelling at you for 15 minutes while you wading in the poop filled water, something has to give. I'm not proud of what I did right then, and I'm not sure I wouldn't do it again, but it was right then and there I knew I had had just about enough of the weekend and it was time to seclude myself in my room for a while.

So, that's exactly what I did. Today has been much better for me and I hope to not see Madtherine for a while. But holy crap, don't get in that girls crossfire. She's ruthless!

update

Hey there, long time no talk. Been kind of busy these days, trying to put together a business plan and all. Oh yeah, it's going great! Moving really quickly as a matter of fact. I have some great stories from the wedding I went to this weekend, and I'll do my best to tell you all about that tomorrow. Today I wanted to recap an open ended story that a few of you keep asking me about. Remember that tall, dark, and handsome fellow I told you about? The one I met in Chicago? Well, you'll be happy to know that I did indeed find him about a week after we met. Turns out, if you just mention that you're looking for someone to people that might be younger than you and grew up with Facebook they can find someone in five minutes, when it's taken you a week to get his last name right. So, I sent him a little notey on Facebook and a few days later, he wrote back! I was so nervous about this development I wasn't quiet sure what to do next. We exchanged a few messages back and forth and one message eluded to the fact that he wanted to meet up in Philly soon. I was so excited I didn't know what to do. But, this was really happening. I found the guy, we made some plans, we became Facebook friends. What more could a girl ask for? And then came the moment when we got to Skype! I never knew how cool this thing could actually be until you're talking with someone that you only saw one night and got nervous just looking at. It's been a really long time since I've had butterflies. To be honest, I thought they migrated out of my body and were spending some time elsewhere. But, we had a really good talk and we had made plans to see each other the very next week. Well, like any good story, there is a beginning, and then the middle. Come to find out, all the while that he was talking to me about meeting up in Philly, he had also been planning a trip down to Florida with his dad. At the exact same time. I can't exactly say that this was a random coincidence, but instead of telling me, I find out from his Facebook status. Now, the whole point behind quitting my job was to really spend some time figuring myself out and what I wanted out of life. Try to put myself first and not revert back to former behavior of making sure that everyone else. So, with that in mind, I confront him because if there is one thing I really can't stand, it's someone making plans and then changing them thinking that if they didn't tell someone that they had just made plans with, but then posted it on Facebook, that it would be okay. He said it was the only time that his dad could go with him, but that he would plan on stopping by on his way back through. Not entirely sure what that meant, he was already 0-1 in my book. So, cue last week when I see a little note on his facebook saying that he was in the plains of North Carolina, heading home. So, I did what any girl in my position would do, I shot a note back asking when he was jetting through. He immediately writes back and tells me that he'll be there in a few hours, what did I have in mind. So, I wrote back telling him that we could definitely do dinner, but it would all depend on how long he was staying or if he was staying at all. Given that it was still two hours away I had plenty of time to get everything done that I needed to get done and still take a shower. But then I received a phone call telling me that Scout got into it with Roscoe once again and now I was to find a behaviorist. Well, this irritated me because I don't exactly have income coming in and there aren't too many people that do that kind of thing for free. So, I ended up going home, doing some packing for the wedding and by the time I was all done, it was 6. Funny, my email indicator light still hadn't gone off, and I REALLY wanted to go to the gym. So what did I do? Well, I'll tell you what I didn't do, wait around. That's what I didn't do. That little twerp didn't call, text, or email me that he came through. I find out at 9 pm that homeboy made it all the way home. How did I find that out? Oh, because he posted it on his Facebook page. Yeah, he's done in my book. It's too bad too because I thought it could have really been fun. So, that is the ending of the story. It wasn't quiet the fairy tale I wanted, but at least I knew now before investing any emotion into the thing.

F U BCS

Just a warning, if you are NOT a college football fan, you should probably not read this entry. All I'm going to do is rant about the rankings that were posted last night and you really won't care so, go ahead and stop if you want.

So, okay, you get used to a few things being a TCU fan. You get used to people claiming that you're not really that good of a football team because you play in the Mountain West. Or that you really don't play anyone non-conference. But, let's get real people. I understand that the SEC is a powerhouse of a football conference, I'll give that to you. But you have to be kidding me with what went on last night. I understand that this is the first ranking that has been released all season, but let's get a few things straight, shall we. Allow me to start from the back and work my way up.

Not only did Virginia Tech loose its first two games of the season but that second loss was to JMU. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?! It's like when Michigan was put back up in the standings after loosing to App State. And App State is an EXTREMELY reputable football program, JMU is not. JMU is a joke. JMU might actually loose to VMI and considering that my father went to VMI, I know how bad of a loss that would be. I'm sorry BCS and everyone reading that is an ACC fan, but the ACC SUCKS at football. For some reason the BCS believes that Tech is WAY better, every year than it actually is. It's almost like a nail in my football coffin.

And then there is Arkansas. Where your only two losses were to Alabama and Auburn, but you are a kick ass football team. You actually almost beat Alabama and you're still on the bottom. In sweet justice, I almost hope that Auburn looses the rest of their football games and you move ahead of them. I'm rooting for you pig sooey and I really hate your stupid state.

TEXAS?!?!?! Really? You beat Nebraska, which is the ONLY reason that you're on this stupid poll in the first place. I want you to fade into oblivion and never come back. You got that?! There is only room for one Texas team on this list and you're not it. You've had your moment in the sun and now it's time to move on.

Florida State, when you win a game that anyone gives a shit about, let me know.

Wisconsin. NICE WIN on Saturday. Without you, TCU would not be where they are today. I do not forget the people that got us where we are. I just don't know how long you're going to last.

Funny how yet another Mountain West team makes it into the top 10. If we're such a shitty conference with bad teams, why not just throw us by the wayside? Why put both Utah and TCU in there? Just throw the baby out with the bath water. Oh wait, that's right Utah beat Alabama a few years ago. SEC what?!?!?!

I don't really have anything bad to say about Michigan State, the first ninjas on the board. My entire extended family went there and I root for them normally. But here's a warning to my family members, if TCU and State end up in a bowl game together, watch out! We will not be friends and if Grandma is not wearing half purple, the shower will be NOTHING.

And now we have reached the point in which my blood will start to boil and I will start to edit my language. Dear Auburn, LSU, and Alabama fans. You know who you are and normally, I like you guys. But, one of you is going to have to loose, twice. So, don't get too comfy up there. And, as much as I LOVE my Auburn friends, for the next couple of weeks, we're not really going to be talking. I'm kind of salty you took our spot on the list, but I know that two men will enter and only one will come out. But again, I know you guys have a kick ass conference, I just want to move up.

I can't really complain about where we are on the list. We'll still get a pretty good bowl game if we stay where we are. Sure, we have a better record than the top three teams, and yes, we have beaten the number one team and they all cried, but who's really counting that? That's right, NO ONE. Don't worry about the fact that TCU hasn't lost a regular season game in 19 games. That's right, we haven't lost a game since November 6th, 2008. Which was the same year we beat Stanford. It's just kind of weird when people say we don't play anyone and then we have a history of beating the teams that are on the list. Crazy. I wonder when we're going to get good?

So while we're at it, let's talk about Oregon. UCLA guys, you know I love ya. NOTHING but love for you, but your conference is not what it used to be. This year just isn't the same year for you. So why is Oregon getting so much love. You beat Washington State last weekend? I could go on the field and beat those guys. Okay yes, you blew Stanford out of the water, who still got a #9 ranking (go figure), but really? You better be ready for UCLA this upcoming weekend. Speaking of ninjas, these guys go on the field and you never know what's going to come out. You just gotta be on your toes. But I'm not trying to help you because I have no earthly idea why you are ranked so high. If someone could explain that to me, that would be great.

Which brings us to the number one ninja of 2010. OU. I'm speechless. I'm really without words. I root for you because I HATE Texas. You don't even really bother with the top 5 at all, you just immediately go straight to number 1? Who let you do that? You have had some squeaker games as I have never seen before this year. The reason Boise and TCU have to blow these teams out of the water is because you are only loosing by 4 points. I really don't know what to say. I'm hurt, I'm baffled, I'm really beyond words.

In case you couldn't tell, I'm a little pissed off about the complete and total bullshit that the BCS poll has provided. I'm really less irritated at where TCU is and more irritated at what you've given so many others. The second any AQ team looses, we're out. We have no shot. You've stacked the chips against us and allowed conferences like the ACC to feel like they know how to play football right now. Again, I mean no offence to my friends who are reading this and attend, or are fans, of any of the above Universities, but you have to agree how bogus this entire thing is. I'm not asking for a playoff because that is unfair to the players. I'm simply asking for these voters to look at the teams playing and who they're playing and how much they win by. Maybe instead of selling us short you would see just how hard we've been working to get where we are. I mean, would you have put America's Sweetheart Gary Patterson on your show last night if you didn't care about him? Think about what you're doing to America!

Sticker Shock

First and foremost I would like to thank Mary, Joseph and sweet baby Jesus for allowing my clogged right ear to finally pop. This sucker has been making things sound like I've been living under water for the past week and I had no idea what was going to make it pop. It was ironic that the day after I got back from the doctor was the morning that it became clogged for a week straight. You know that feeling you get when you're about to land in a plane and you need your ears to pop. Yeah, that's what ol righty was doing. To make matters worse, it wasn't even what I went into the doctor for. I know I mentioned it a few times, but for about 3 weeks, I had this terrible hacking cough that was almost debilitating. I thought it was just allergies, until I went to Vegas and besides leaving some money there, I could have swore I left one of my lungs. I was starting to get worried that it might have progressed into pneumonia or bronchitis, so I wanted to make sure I wasn't contaminating every one around me. After going to the wrong place and then making it to the doctor an hour late, only to have to wait an hour more I was told that my asthma has come back. Now, I haven't had asthma since I was about 12 years old. And even then it wasn't as bad as what I had been feeling, and even worse what I had been sounding like lately. So with four prescriptions in hand I headed home. I'm still in a little bit of disbelief at the outcome of what was wrong with me, but after a week of meds, I'm starting to notice some progress. I'm not scaring the patrons of the gym with my hack and I'm not waking Scout up in the middle of the night because I can't stop violently shaking the bed from my coughing. I am still coughing, but now it doesn't sound like I have whooping cough. So, again I thank the powers that be that allowed my ear to finally pop and give me the satisfaction of blowing my nose like a normal human being, without the fear that I might actually blow an ear drum out.

But now on to more important things. Moving back to the NoVa area has definitely been a move for the best. I feel that I'm much happier with my surroundings and it has given me the opportunity to figure out what I want to do when I grow up. That's the good news. The unfortunate circumstances one is faced with is the price tag on luxury items in which one purchased with ease when said person had one, a job and two, a lower cost of living area. Let me get right to the point on what I'm referring too. My mentality with having a dog has always been, there are people that do such things as bath and groom my animal. Why would I do myself, what I could pay someone else to do? Here is the answer to that question. When living in North Carolina we had a GREAT groomer that for $20 would bath, clip nails, clean ears, and extract anal glands of my dog. They would also give her a cute little bandanna for her trip home. For an additional $5 they would clean her teeth. So, for $25 a month, I would have an extremely clean dog without having to get myself wet, scratched, bit, or pooped on. A fee I would gladly pay anyone. Now imagine my surprise when I move to this area and start calling around to local groomers. I started at PetSmart because they are everywhere and couldn't possibly be that much more money then where I just came from. $42 and an additional $11 if I want to have her teeth cleaned. Another place was $80 because I said she was part husky. Today, I called a place that told me the lab part of her would be $50 but the husky would be $82, but that I would have to bring her in to get a further assessment. On top of these fees I have asked the groomers if they use deshedding products, because let me tell you how much this house needs it. The answer, no. So, all you're doing is shampooing my dog, conditioning my dog and blow drying my dog. I can get my hair washed, conditioned and cut, by a stylist for $65 and I can drive myself there. These people have to be out of their minds for charging this much money. And to make matters worse, I know they are busy because they are still open. There is a small part of me that is contemplating bringing my dog with me to the wedding in Charlotte just to get her groomed at a reasonable rate. For the record, those of you coming to my doggie day care in the near future, our rates will be $20 and if you wear a TCU shirt, or your pet has a TCU collar, I'll throw in a teeth cleaning for free. This has completely blown my mind to the point that I have no more words to describe my sticker shock in washing my dog. I will be taking applications here locally for anyone that wants the job. I will pay you $20 cash and I'll make you dinner :o)

I'm in Miami, trick

Okay, I'm really not, but for some reason I can't get that little catchy phrase out of my head, so I'll have to type it out and welcome you all to my world. Once again, I would love to have an excuse for why I didn't post something yesterday, but I just don't have one. Starting up your own business is hard work. I wasn't entirely sure everything that goes into it, but I've spent more time in front of my computer researching facts I never thought I would actually need. I've never in my life put together a business plan, but when you are going to have to ask for money from people, I've heard it helps to get your facts together. But let me go ahead and say straight off the bat, that I am very thankful, once again for my friends. Without them I don't think this process would be where it is today. Currently, I have about 3 relator's, looking for space for me, all recommended by friends or friends of friends. I also have a great person helping me design a logo and hopefully another good friend helping me with some research and once my business plan is together, an uncle that is a financial planner who can get the rest of it done for me. Normally all this would probably cost a person a few grand, but somehow all the moving parts are falling into place. And at a rate I wasn't exactly expecting either. So, if I seem a little distracted and not so much focused on the blog or blabbing on more than usual, you'll know why. I'm excited though. I couldn't even sleep last night b/c I was decorating this place in my head. It's amazing what you think you can get done when you don't even really have all the money to do it yet. I will, most definitely, keep you posted on the progress though. It's a wicked scary ride, but I hope at the end of it it's going to be worth it.

In other news, my step mom's jewelry website launched last week and I'm really proud of what she's done. She's been working so hard and everything looks so amazing. I would love to get you ladies hooked on some of the stuff. You can't order off the website yet, but if you tell me what you're interested in, I can make it so. She'll also do custom orders with the colors you want. So please, take a look at her website and tell me how much you love it! www.whimsywearableart.com. We're also having a unveiling party this Saturday, so all of you in the area, stop on by between the hours of 2 and 4. And for those of you not in the area, come up this weekend! It'll give you a great excuse to get out of the house.

On that note I must bid you all adieu. Southlake, Texas isn't going to research itself.

Stalkerazzi

I know I am quiet possibly the worst blogger on the planet. To my credit, I was in Vegas until Tuesday night and since then I have been job researching and going to the doctor to get rid of this cough so it's not like I've been sitting around eating bon bons or anything. Vegas was a blast, thanks for asking :o) I didn't win any money and ended up having to go to the ATM once since the Las Vegas Hilton wanted to take every last dime that I had brought. But these are not the interesting stories you want to hear. I need to tell you about this guy "Nick" that we met. I will call him Neurotic Nick or NN for short. Heather and I had landed in Sin City around 11 pm Vegas time. Normally, at this point on the East Coast both of us would be long asleep and not even thinking of continuing to go out. But seeing that we were in Vegas, we did what any normal person should do and went down to the casino. We were having a GREAT time playing on Wizard of Oz and Heather was already killing it. Apparently we had an audience that we were not aware of either. So, as we were getting up to cash out we were accosted by these three guys; Louisiana, North Dakota and Nick. Louisiana was kind enough to inform us that Nick thought I was beautiful and wanted to come up to talk with us. Flattering, indeed, but is Nick a child? This is Vegas, if you're interested, you take the bull by the horns and say something. You don't let your drunk idiot friend do the dirty work for you. Anywho, we stood around and talked to drunk Louisiana, dickhead North Dakota and Nick for about 15 minutes when Canada walked right up. Now, allow me to back up for a second. Nick and the statesmen didn't actually know each other. Nick, had been standing around on his own, when LA and ND came up to talk with him. I'm assuming they've never met a person they didn't like to talk to. It's nice that they wouldn't let a guy just stand around looking creepy all by himself, but I'm not sure these guys did him any favors. You see, North Dakota was easily a Biggest Loser contestant. And the reason that he got the nickname dickhead, and yes I said that to his face, was because he got salty that I called him out on this HUGE wet mark on the front of his shirt and he thought I was being mean. I knew it was just condensation all along, but then he proceeds to go sit down and tell LA and Nick that they could do better. THEY could do better?!?!?!? I'm sorry, who are you again. I don't really want to speak ill of LA b/c he was funny as crap and drunker than a skunk so I'll just leave it at this guy kept repeating that he was from Louisiana so many times you could turn it into the Roxanne drinking game. And then there was Nick. Dear, sweet, innocent Nick. He's one of those bless your heart guys when you meet him. A little on the short side for me, but very quiet and tried to jump into the conversation around LA, but just couldn't. LA couldn't stand if the conversation was not revolving around him and I just let him have it. It was really funny to me and allowed me the chance to mess with him. We find out that Nick works with special needs students so he has to have a heart as big as the sun. I still really wasn't attracted to dear, sweet Nick though. Throughout the night they bought us drinks and just kind of hung out where ever we went. Fortunately we were able to leave dickhead somewhere, and I don't really care where it was. We ended up staying out until 3:30 in the morning which meant that Heather and I were both up for 24 hours. Rock star status. As we were going up to our room, we find out that Nick is staying in the same hotel as we are and has a suite. I'm really not impressed, but really tired. Nick asks me to take him number down, but I don't have my phone with me. He doesn't actually believe me. As he's asking me why so many girls use that line, I proceed to pat myself down to prove it to him. Why the hell do I need a phone in Vegas anyway? Everyone I know, well most everyone I know is back in the Eastern Time Zone and not really interested to hear from my drunk ass that early in the morning. So, he takes my number, first and last weird, then wants to take my picture to put in his phone, weirder. This is where I won't let him b/c who knows where that picture ends up or what he uses it for. I just thought it was creepy. So, Heather and I are off the elevator, leaving Nick and LA to go check out his suite. As I'm crawling happily into bed I receive a text (his texts will be in red, ALWAYS)
"you sure you don't want to hang out and watch a movie or something"
"not tonight. We've got all day tomorrow and tomorrow night"
"okay that sounds good. i'll text you when i'm done tomorrow and see if you're free."

Minus the weirdness of the phone number situation, it seems innocent enough, right? After going to bed around 3:45 in the morning, Heather and I are awoken at 7:30 by her work calling. 4 hours is not enough sleep time to get me moving in the morning after a strong night of drinking. But going back to sleep was not an option as I was rooming with chatty Cathy :o) (love you Heather). So, we get up and make our way down to the Mirage where we are hoping to catch the TCU game. This time I bring my phone with me. We sit there for about an hour and realize that there are far more important games on the big screen and we will not be able to watch ours. So we leave in search of food. As we casino hop and look for our next coupon discount someone starts talking a little smack on my phone about TCU. Number one rule about me, do NOT talk smack about TCU. You could bad mouth my mother before you talked poorly about my team. But Nick thinks it's funny. Isn't he supposed to be in some seminar? Hmm, mystery. This continues on for 3 HOURS. I don't know if he likes texting with me or he's just that bored. Around 4 o'clock, Heather and I hit a wall. Both of us are so tired that we have to go home and nap or we won't be able to make it the rest of the day. We had decided on our night time plans before then and also decided to invite Nick so he didn't have to be alone. Aren't we nice? Nap time is boring, so I will spare you. We are up, ready to go around 7. Go meet Nick up in his suite b/c if I had to hear about that thing one more time, I was going to scream. It was okay. Not what I was expecting at all, but certainly a nice place to kidnap two unsuspecting girls from the DC area. Then it was off to get Heather's knock you on your ass margaritas as we headed to dinner. I could have sworn I was a little buzzed by the time we got to dinner. Thank God there was no wait, or it would have been bad. We sit down and learn a little more about Nick. He's 30, his dad just died two months ago and I didn't really hear anything after that. I couldn't. How are you functioning in Vegas, two months after your father passed? I didn't want to know the answer to that question, so I just said, I'm sorry and went on with eating. Awkward silence eating. The night goes by very similar to how dinner was. Just awkward and silent. He's no good without help around him and Heather and I are not good people around if you're not bringing your A game. But, we continued to play and he continued to lurk. Again, nice guy, just not much on space. As we entered, what would be our last casino of the night, I started getting REALLY sleepy again. Nap time was a bust for me so I had had enough and was ready to go to bed. It was almost like I was putting money in a machine, just to stay awake. Nick had found me and was sitting next to me, when he asked "so, did you want to watch a movie or something later?" Honestly, I took this in its literal translation. I really thought he wanted to watch a movie. "You know what Nick, I'm REALLY tired and need to go sleep". "But I brought all my Blue Rays with me". Wow, when you say it that way, I couldn't help but start taking my shirt off right there and....no, no I didn't. "I'm sorry, but I just can't. I can hardly keep my eyes open". I immediately find Heather, on my own, and tell her that we are leaving now! As we're walking back to our hotel I hear Heather ask Nick what he had in mind for tonight. "I thought we might go dancing or something". This coming from the same guy who last night said he never dances. Who is this clown? I balk and we are once again in the elevator going up to our room. Nick gets off at our floor to tell us good night, no hugs just words and we are finally away from him. This is where it gets creepier beyond belief. We walk in the door and I already have a text:


midnight "You could still come hang out if you're not that tired :)"
"Look who got brave all of a sudden, but yes, I am that tired. I can hardly function right now"
"I'm always brave. Just weird in front of someone else. I would really like to just hang out and kick back if you would be up for it :)
And you are really fun to hangout with just hate thinking that might be it :("
"I wish I wasn't that tired, but I am. it's a very sweet gesture, I just can't make it happen tonight"
"I guess I may have been more direct in asking you, but I didn't want to pressure you to hang out if you really didn't want to. I guess my hints didn't work as well as I was hoping"
"It has nothing to do with me wanting to not wanting to hang out. I physically can't do it. I had a nice time too. Timing sucks"
"I know...I wish I was here tomorrow night too. How about if I tell Heather to let you sleep in tomorrow so you could stay up a little later tonight? :)"
"Good night Nick"


In my defense, again, maybe I'm naive, but I really thought that he just wanted to hang out. I was not in any way about to hook up with this moron. But wait, there's more. In the time that I went to sleep and turned my ringer off, until the time I woke up, I had 7 text messages on my phone. SEVEN! It is important I use the timing on this as well


12:17 am :LOL. I had a good time too. Wish the timing could have been better, but thanks for letting me down gently :)
12:27 am: Hey, I'm just packing, do you want my Bud Light Limes...I'm not gonna drink them since I gotta go in the morning I just hate to toss them out or leave them for the maid...they're the 16oz aluminum bottle ones
1:36 am: Hope you're getting some sleep :). I did have a great time hanging out with you, and I'm sure I'll think about you in the future. Maybe I can friend you on facebook if that would be cool (I rarely use it tho). Too bad we didn't get a chance to really hook up, cause looks can be deceiving and I'm really underrated in that area :p. I'll text you when I find a puppy to see if it looks good to you if you wouldn't mind...since you're kind of the dog expert (at least to me). Hope you have a great rest of the time in Vegas :)

The good news after all this crazy stalkerness is that I never have heard from this kid again. I was really worried that I was going to be super sick after going to the doctor yesterday and have to text him to tell him to go get checked out since he was sitting so close to me and I was coughing all over everyone, but thankfully I don't have too. Now I can erase his texts off my phone since I kept them all to share with you guys :o) I'm just a giver like that. Crazy story, huh? It's never a dull moment when Heather and I go to Vegas and this story just couldn't stay there.

My Nemesis

Ever since I was asked to be in my cousins wedding, my arch nemesis has become David's Bridal. I firmly believe that every time I get around a DB location, it's like a cloud of gloom becomes darker. You know in the movies when it gets really dark and either a twister or an alien space ship is about to appear out of the sky? That's what it's like for me to go to David's Bridal. The first time I was told that I had to spend 10 extra dollars to lengthen my dress because I was too tall. To which my response was, don't you know that all runway models have to be 5'10? Why would you charge me more for a dress you couldn't technically take down the runway without charging more? To then I further asked, do you charge overweight people? The answer being yes. But, charging me more because I'm tall just doesn't seem fair. It's not my fault I was born to runway. But it is their fault that they're fat. So, why are you punishing me? In all honesty, it is only $10, but still it's the principal of the whole situation. I couldn't imagine if I was both tall and wide. I would be screwed. No one would want me in their wedding anyway, so it might not be the worst idea to work on.

So then this leads us up to Tuesday. Yes, the same Tuesday in which I informed you all about the crazy flying buzzards that were invading my house. Okay, my parents house, but whatever! So, when you're in a wedding, I suppose it is customary for some brides to want their bridesmaids shoes that same exact color of the dress. Since I had already paid the additional money for the lengthening, I had thought the bride and I agreed that I wouldn't have to buy the shoes since no one was going to be able to see my feet anyway. Apparently I just made up that conversation, but fortunately the shoes were now on sale. When I say fortunately, I mean that in price tag alone. The good news is is that I could order shoes in my size. The bad news is is that I called two stores, was on hold for about 20 minutes at a store that supposedly had the pair in stock, only to find out that I had to order it online anyway. So what happens now is that you have to order the shoes, pay to have them shipped to your house only to have to drive to another David's Bridal, pay an additional $3 and have them dyed. But timing is everything because if they are overbooked you might not get your shoes in time. AGH! The wedding business is such a racket. So, I bought the shoes and two days later they were on my doorstep. Since the closest DB is about 30 minutes away, I had to plan accordingly. Well, after my workout on Tuesday, I come home, only to realize that I had forgotten this was the day I was going to head to DB. So, with shoes in tow I head over. Made it there in 30 minutes, no problem. Pulled into a space, RIGHT IN FRONT. I was a little crooked, so I had to back out a little to straighten 'er up. I look to the left, no one coming. I look to the right, no one coming. I start to back out and WHAMO! I run straight into a lady driving down the aisle behind me. Adios Mio. I couldn't believe it. I park my car, hang my head low and get out the car. Homegirl starts yelling at me in Spanglish. "Why you hit me?" "Did you see me driving down?" "Call 911, call 911". Whoa, whoa, whoa lady, back up here a little bit. I did not mean to hit you. This is why we call them accidents. And unless you're hurt, let's not call 911. But these words were not easily translated to Spanish. Then I ask if she has insurance. Apparently when you make it America, the one word they do teach you is insurance because she was like "of course I have insurance! Why you hit me?" Here we go again. Let's just exchange information and my insurance company will take care of it. Side note here. I NEVER keep my insurance information in my car and just Monday, I thought it would be a good idea to put it in my glove compartment. Who knew I would actually need it. "No, we call 911" Are you hurt? "no" then let's just call the police. "no, call 911. See, here on my phone? 911" Actually it said #911 so that wasn't going to work. While she went on her rant, I locally called the police, explained my situation and the lady gave me another number. As my back was turned, a young man had crept up behind and gotten on her phone with 911. Holy crap, seriously?!?!?! Who are you and why are YOU on the phone with the cops? He's trying to explain the situation from the hysteric ladies words. I have no idea what's going on, since my Spanish stop working as soon as I realized she was on the phone with 911. All I kept asking him was, are you on the phone with 911? To which he responded with a head nod yes. Is anyone dying, I further asked. To which he responded, no. THEN HANG UP. Tell them sorry and hang up. I was so embarrassed at the language barrier. Apparently the cops told him the same thing I had been saying the whole time. Just exchange information and let the insurance company take care of it. Wow, I should be a cop. So, I give the lady my info, I write down hers and I still hadn't gone into the store yet. Wow, how fun. I now get to go into David's Bridal. As the lady is pulling away, the guy who had been on the phone for her turns to ask me if I played tennis. Oh, because I was still in my workout clothes. No, I just got done working out. Oh, where do you work out. ARE YOU SERIOUSLY HITTING ON ME?!?!? You call the cops on me and then want to ask me out. Excuse me, I need to finish what I started here and go to the stupid wedding store. Which happened to be extremely uneventful. I go home, call my insurance company and hope that my rates don't sky rocket. I also hope to God I never have to go back into that store after I pick my shoes back up.


On a positive note, we have reach the half way point of our 15 lbs weight loss challenge. 7 pounds down, 7 to go! OMG if I loose so much weight that I go down a dress size and have to get fitted at the last minute, I'll die! Maybe this lifestyle change isn't the greatest idea of all time.

Welcome to Oz

So I'm sitting in the kitchen and hearing this nonstop barking outside. Normally this is par for the course for Scout and we have been working on it, but as I come outside, this is what I see on the roof!

I mean seriously! WTF are these things?!?!?! I got so nervous that these things were going to join forces and pick Scout up and sweep her off to their secret layer. I immediately called her and Roscoe in the house as if the place was on fire. The barking continued in the house because all she wanted to do was protect this place from the harm that might be lurking outside. It took me all day to strike up the nerve to Google what in the hell these things are. Apparently they are called Black Vultures. They eat dead things so it appeared that the puppies were safe outside.

This is the kind of crazy drama you miss when you're working all day :o)

What a weekend!

Please note that the title of this blog needs to be said in an exasperated tone. What a weekend indeed. It started off innocent enough. I decided to leave Scout at the parents while I headed off to watch the greatest one year old on the planet. Got there in time for the Grey's premier so all was well with the world. Sleep went well, even the diaper change seemed to go well, but when mom left, the world was not the same. Meals took extra longer. More food was ending up on the floor than in the mouth and then there was nap time. OH nap time. By the looks of it anyone would think that he was sleepy. Yawning on my lap. Rubbing his eyes on the floor. All signs that someone was tired. Only, the second he hit the crib he was all smiles and singing. It took him one hour to go down the first time and he then only slept for an hour. Meanwhile, someone else (pointing at myself) was really sleepy. Until this morning, I hadn't gotten up at 7:30 in a while. Napping wasn't really an option for me though. With a napping loose cannon, I was afraid that I would go into a deep coma and not really come out of it. The rest of the day went pretty similar to how the morning went until mom got home. Heather and I had decided to have a girls night out since she had acquired some "theater" tickets from her boss. The show we were going to see was the Fantastics. Apparently the longest running show on Broadway. So, after a quick stop at Outback :o) diet friendly, of course, we heading off to the auditorium. I guess the best way to describe this place would be an old high school/church, turned into an arts center. The actual auditorium was not that large, but as we looked around, we realized that we were the youngest two people in there by at least 20 years. Okay, minus the teenagers that had to come b/c their parents made them. Oh, and the troop of nerds directly behind us that were from some local weirdo college. So now that the scene is set, let's lower the lights and let the show begin....I wouldn't call myself a regular to the theater, but I do enjoy it an awful lot. As a matter of fact I have songs from Phantom, Les Mis, and Wicked on my ipod. But this, this was an embarrassment to the art of theater. I don't really care that there wasn't a scene on stage and instead merely a ladder that we were supposed to believe was a wall. That happened to be the only thing that didn't bother me. The stagehand, was a girl, dressed all in black with white keds on. But, she was part of the show, or was she? At one point she started dancing around the stage with the rest of them, but she was the only one not singing. And not only that, but a little piece of advice to her. If you're going to twirl around the stage, TWIRL AROUND THE STAGE, make sure it's the day that you don't wear your white granny panties that we can see through your black leggings. Or better yet, slap one of the other women on the stage for not telling you during dress rehearsal what you can see. Every girl reading this knows you asked. Then there was the narrator. Have you ever felt like you were being talked down to from the stage? Even the President tries to make everyone feel included when he speaks, but this guy was so condescending, I felt like I was in grade school again. Even when he sang, I felt beneath him. I meant technically I was, but isn't the point of theater to feel like you're being swept away to a magical land where people sing everything? Now let's move on to mom number 1. Besides getting the words wrong of a song in which she was singing a duet with mom number 2, her mic was in her hair! In an attempt to be hidden on her clothes from her "outstanding" dance numbers, the hair and makeup team decided a good place to lock it down would be with bobby pins on her hair part. Which probably would have worked, had she not been blonde. Come on people, this isn't high school and it's certainly not rocket science. How can one concentrate on the words that are coming out of her mouth when all you're wondering is how long that mic is going to stay there. Kudos to mom number two, I don't really have anything bad to say. Now we're up to the lead players. Oh, who do I start with. I want to end this little story with a bang, but the two of them were equally as terrible. I guess we'll start with the male lead. I am aware that a majority of men in both the theater and dance professions are predominately gay, but as a good actor, no one is really supposed to know that you are. When you come out of the gate, you're not supposed to be flaming. But this poor guy couldn't convince me that he was even remotely interested in his female lead. I just wanted to yell at him to pretend she was his boyfriend and maybe we might start to buy it. But as each scene unraveled and the build up to the kiss was coming I couldn't help but feel more and more uncomfortable. It was like that scary movie where you know exactly where and when the bad thing is coming but your hands are over your face with your fingers open just enough to see. The girl came in for the kiss and the boy actually turned his head. I thought he might pull it out in the clutch but he just couldn't do it. And then there was Prima Donna. I cannot say that she wasn't a good singer, b/c she was amazing. Just not for this show. She's more of a Christine in Phantom than Luisa in Fantastics. She's supposed to be playing a 16 year old girl and if she's not older than me, I'm Santa. And this isn't like she could play Kelly Taylor on 90210 and be 35, no, she's legitimately 35 playing a 16 year old. WAY over acted. And Heather and I couldn't quiet get passed the baby bump she was trying to cover with some sort of shoulder sweater wrappy thing. There was one point where I actually cringed b/c she had taken Queer Eye's arms and wrapped it around her for some loving scene, and had his arms around her baby bump. That is NOT okay. The whole thing was not okay. And this was just the first act! Intermission hit and we were out the door. The only other time I've left anything half way through, besides a football game, I was with Heather as well and we left my date in the movie theater. A story for another time. We were 15 and the movie was really bad, so don't judge until you hear the whole thing. The only saving grace was that TCU won their football game that night. Oh, and we found a self serve yogurt shop!


On Saturday, we found that the dark cloud of disappointment had not really left the top of our heads. We had to get up early to meet one of her tour groups in downtown Annapolis, go get the little ones hair cut, and try to find some fun Vegas outfits for the weekend at Kohls. The first two went off without a hitch. The last one was a little more expensive than we had initially budgeted. So, with nothing in tow, we headed to her parents because someone was getting a little cranky in the backseat. Don't worry, I was sitting up front :o) 2 hours later, we were off again. Heading in the direction, of what we hoped would be a fun little fall festival. There was a moon bounce and pony rides and music. All the makings of a successful child's birthday party. Not a festival. I had to pee so bad though so we had to zip through most of it to get straight to the good stuff in the Welcome Center, which I'm going to go ahead and assume was built when the town of Bowie was founded b/c there was no air conditioning in that beast. Heather and Chris had to pretend to be interested in what was written on the walls and in the glass casings while I waited in line for the potty. Apparently the historians frown upon stragglers walking in to use their facilities. So, I had to get an education lesson while I waited. I couldn't honestly tell if this guy was hitting on me, or being for real. He had about half of his facts correct because as a "historian" he hadn't really lived here long. WTF dude! I just have to pee. I'm not even from Maryland, but I can tell you which three cities have a larger population than Bowie. Don't spout off trivia if you don't know the answer. Duh! And please, please, please, don't try and tell me a factoid joke when I'm right out of the bathroom either. Let me try it on you guys and see what you think. If you had a train with two cabooses, what would you call it? My reaction was, why would you have a train with two cabooses? Isn't the end of the train a caboose? How could you have two ends? When the correct answer is cabice. No, that's really what he said. Pause for effect. As if that wasn't enough, we headed next door to the train "museum" where out front was a nerd herd playing with a lego train set. Thinking it couldn't get worse, it did. Inside was Conductor Bob, who I honestly couldn't tell if he was mentally slow, or just worked at a train museum in Bowie, Maryland. As Heather was trying to leave, the guy holds up his digital camera and asks if we want to see an Acela go past. For those of you that don't know, the Acela is a little bit faster than the regular Amtrak. It's not pink, nor does it shoot lightening out of the sides, it's just a regular train, only a little faster. And oh, by the way, on our way to the Welcome Center, it passed underneath us. So we humored the guy as Chris tried to pass by us. Dick move buddy, dick move :o) It was right then and there that we decided it was time to go home. This afternoon a complete and total bust and I can hardly keep my eyes open. I thought it was high time that I headed back to my house as well. I needed to go to bed early anyway b/c I had volunteered to bring my parents to the airport at 4:30 in the morning. That being bad enough as it was, but my puppy decided that Saturday night was the night she was going to get the pukies every 20 minutes until 12:30, which only left me about 4 hours of sleep until I had to wake up and drive. This poor thing. She kept scratching at the door and barking and whining and I thought she wanted to play, until she started to dry heave on my floor, which then I immediately shooed her outside. This went on for two hours. There is no way she ate that much in the past 4 days, let alone keep it in her stomach long enough to vomit. But there it was, all over the backyard. Needless to say, I was exhausted all day yesterday and somehow managed to wake up this morning at 7:30 to take care of the menagerie. I'm sure I'll fall back asleep very soon and head to the gym this afternoon.


So there it is, my weekend in a very big nutshell. The good news is is that I found my Rachel Ray cookbook that I thought was gone forever. The bad news is is that I still have this hacking cough and in 4 days I have to start looking for a job. But, in 4 days we're also going to Vegas, so maybe this might turn out for the best anyway.


Until tomorrow my pets!

Organs for sale

I firmly believe that if you have two of something you should be able to sell one of them, no? So, if I have two kidneys and only need one, or 10 fingers and could do without two of them, and my bone marrow and blood, that all grows back, right? Do you think I could get about $500k for all that combined? B/c that's what I'm going to need to open my own doggie day care! I'm not exactly down in the dumps about this nor am I discouraged from actually pursuing this dream. It's just gotten a little further away. After my meeting yesterday, I realized that people who open their own businesses are huge risk takers. I'm ready to be one and know that the idea that I have is a gold mine, it's just how I'm going to get there that seems to be the issue at hand. This might sound crazy, but I had no idea when you paid a franchise fee, that all the other stuff doesn't come with it. You really just get the name alone. So what the hell do I care if my day care is called Dogtopia or Kat's Dog's place or Scouts? That last two would save me $150k alone. So, what do I get with the franchise? Well, besides the name, I get to give them 7% each month, off the top, of my earnings. Doesn't seem to make sense to me. I've already paid you $150k, why do you get more? Can't I just make that money on my own now? This is all so very confusing to me. I mean honestly, do they know what I could buy with that kind of money? I would sell my own name for that kind of money right now. I guess I also get some training and some online marketing, but really? If that doesn't work and drive in business, can't I just read a book? Aren't there plenty of online sources that would save me the cash? I feel like I'm so far away from this dream and the bubble bursters are all around me. I suppose I would rather know about all this information before hand than jump in and have a million OH SHIT moments, but still. Can't someone give me ten minutes of basking in the glow of my great idea before popping another one of my balloons? And while I'm at it, I was thinking of having a fund raiser party. You all would be invited, however the catch is, that each table will cost $50,000 each. I would serve some amazing food and the entertainment would be excellent. I hope you all could make it. See! I'm no good at this asking for money business. If it was like $20 here and there, no problem. If I was running a marathon for a cause, drop in the bucket. But, going around asking my friends and family if they would like to take a huge risk and invest in an idea that could possibly make a huge profit, but there are no guarantees, turns my stomach. I would rather spend a dollar ever month and play the lottery. Who has that kind of cash? Possibly not a rhetorical question if you actually have it. My friend last night at dinner suggested that I go meet a rich guy and have him front the money. Well, while this sounds great in theory, I'VE BEEN TRYING TO DO THAT MY ENTIRE LIFE and that hasn't worked. Now that I actually need it, I'm not sure I have it in me to hit on old man river and have him buy me a doggie day care while I "work it off". Ick, the thought alone is making me want to throw up in my mouth. My luck the old curmudgeon would be like the longest living person on earth. So, now I wait until Monday when I meet with the actually franchise company to have them tell me more information to crush my dream. But maybe not. Maybe some sort of miracle will happen and they will just love me so much they would be willing to take a risk themselves.....Yeah, I didn't think so either.

Tuesday?

Is there anything sadder than the fact I'm so excited for LIVE TV to start again? I could hardly contain my excitement when I got to set my parents DVR. I even asked them, kindly to erase everything that they already had on there so that I had more room. First I move in and now I'm asking them to change their TV watching habits for me. Hey, that's what you get! But honestly, I think we are slowing reaching the end of our "living at home" rope. It's not that they've done anything, but this whole, having room mates nonsense is a little out of my element. I actually don't know what to do with myself these days. I can't even create diversions of fun b/c all of my friends are at work during the day, so I don't really have anyone to play with. Well, except Scout. But she doesn't really count b/c the second she starts barking at the neighbors we have to go in. Which is a lot, so my fun with her is even limited. I've tried to spend more time at the gym, but who honestly wants to do that, if you're not getting paid for it. So, I sit and wait and count the days until it's time to go to Vegas! Which, by the way is 10, in case you would like to write it down in your dream journal. I should even find more time to blog, but honestly it's hard. I mean, with all the other crap I could or should be doing, who has time for a life? It's is essentially the reason that I haven't blogged as much. I think to myself who wants to actually read about nothing that I'm doing? Nothing really funny is happening, but it is a lot of stuff, actually. I didn't really start to get bored until yesterday. I did get sad this weekend though. Meg and I were at a purse party, and we needed a few hours before we went home. So her suggestion was to head to DSW. Normal Katherine would have jumped on the chance, but broke ass, jobless Katherine wanted to sit out in the parking lot and cry. I love DSW. I love shoes. Everything about shoes I love. It pained me to walk in there and not buy anything. It would almost be as bad as walking through a kennel and not looking at the cute puppies. Okay, maybe a little dramatic, but it's how I felt. And worst yet, I had to help her pick out shoes! So, instead of walking around aisle by aisle, as I normally do, I put my head down and went to the back of the store, in the clearance section. I tried to stick to the 8's, but found myself being called over to the 9.5's. I mean, what is a girl to do? I guess the "good news" if you can call it that, was that I made it out there without a pair of shoes. But my pride, OH my pride was sorely bruised at that moment. I've never really valued the dollar before now. Well, okay, that's not entirely true either. I haven't had to live on a budget in a number of years, that I forgot what it's all about. Now I do understand what a spoiled brat I sound like, and maybe I am being one. As I was whining the other day, we did drive by a Goodwill and I feel it was a little slap in the face from God that instead of whining about what I don't have nor need, it could always be a lot worse. So, no more whining. I'm going to pick myself up, tie my old ass shoes on tight, put one foot in front of the other, and figure out what I'm going to do when I grow up. The first step will hopefully be tomorrow morning when I meet with the people from a local Doggie day care. Beginning the process of my dream idea. Let's just hope I'm not walking into a lions den of dream killers. That would really suck.


I'll let you know how tomorrow goes. Wish me luck!