Beyond words

I have so many things to talk about, I hardly know where to start. I was going to start with last night, but I'm so mad at my dog right now, I might have to start there. How mad you ask? Oh, about $140 mad. Normally she saves her shenanigans for when I'm away and have to come home to them. But this morning must have been something special. The original alarm goes off at 6:15. Again, we start the morning with good intentions, only I convinced myself that there is plenty of time to go running after work/before softball, so I laid back down. Only SOMEONE wasn't ready to go back to sleep. SOMEONE thought it was get up and play time so the barking began. I hopped out of bed and took her out, thinking if I could get everything done by 6:30 then I'd have 45 minutes more of sleep before I absolutely had to get out of bed. Well, this plan actually worked. We got everything we needed to done and I was back in bed by 6:30. Strangely I didn't hear a peep, so I thought to myself that she was sleepy too and went back to bed on the couch or floor. Never in a million years would I think that I would re-wake up to what I did. Imagine if you will you step out of your warm bed and walk out of your bedroom to find this:
Obviously this is not Scout, and this is not what my house looked like entirely, but right now it's the only thing I'm picturing, but in red. Imagine those couch pieces are pieces of carpet. And then imagine that the carpet was ripped in half and laying open. And then imagine that while running around your house, chasing your dog and firmly telling her what a bad girl she is, she's picking up these carpet pieces and thinking that you're playing a game. IMAGINE how mad I was this morning. Clearly I can't even get through this story without using all caps b/c it's such a fresh memory and one in which I can't get over. So currently, b/c this isn't the first time she's done this, I'm looking for carpet runners and trying not to spend over $140 b/c I'm 99% positive that's she's going to chew on that in the meantime. However, if I accidentally step on a part of the carpet where there is no padding, again, and a pointed object goes into my heal or toe, again, I'm going to lock her out of the house. I think she actually stepped on that part the other day b/c I heard a yelp and instead of looking to make sure she was okay, I just sat there and smiled. I know it's terrible, but if she gets to feel a little of the pain that I'm dealing with, it would be nice. Misery loves company, right?

Now, onto what I wanted to talk about before I was so rudely interrupted this morning. Have any of you watched the Bachelor/Bachelorette? I used to watch it religiously. Found two blogs about it and loved to talk about it. A few seasons back I gave up. I couldn't believe I watched the whole season of the train wreck that was DeAAAANNA (long A). She made me mad at ABC and really disappointed in her for representing the single ladies. I mean, you honestly chose Jesse over Jason and you thought it was going to work out? Really?!?! Honey, I dated a guy who had kids and let me tell you from experience he's not just going to introduce them to anyone? So I gave up. I'd put all those years in from Trisha and Ryan to the Prince to Brad, I mean, I was loyal from the beginning and she ruined the entire show for me. I didn't even bother to go on to watch the whole controversial season where Jason was the Bachelor and made the wrong choice. Yeah, b/c no man in the history of earth has ever changed his mind. I gave it another go with Jillian b/c she seemed like a cool enough chick to get me back on the wagon, and in the end she chose my first choice (seriously Ed, if you get tired of her, call me). But the gamut of douche baggery that she met along the way was really unbelievable. So it got me thinking last night as I ended my hour of 24 and had a little while before I needed to head into the shower. I remembered that the new season of the Bachelorette was starting. Going against everything in my being that was telling me not to, I switched on ABC. I was morbidly curious as to what we were up against this year and in the 5 minutes that I could stomach, I wasn't disappointed. I saw an "entertainment wrestler" (I wasn't sure there were other ones) and a television weather man that actually blew the screen to make the wind move. I honestly can't make that up. As I'm watching, I'm thinking to myself, isn't TV supposed to be a break from reality? Shouldn't I get to watch a show like this and wonder how in the world she got that guy? And not think, wow, were they taping this show at any random bar that had way too many guys and a girl? If I wanted to watch douche bags on parade I could look back at some of the clowns that have graced my presence. I mean really ABC. Could you not maybe find some ridiculously good looking batch of guys that are probably gay and draw me back in? There is a reason that most of these guys are single. I mean look at Jake, the last Bachelor. Good looking guy who is looking for a wife. News flash a hole, you're an attractive pilot that lives in Dallas. Even a complete retard can land a wife there. These girls go to school to get their MRS degrees. (I think I was absent that year, or TCU stopped offering the class when I went) In any case, I'm begging you ABC, show us some hope in the single life. If I'm turning on the TV and see the same ole douche lords that are at my local watering hole, what hope are you giving us?