ex haunting

Let's take a flashback to Thursday morning, shall we? There I was sitting at my desk, minding my own business. Blog is written, emails from the previous night are returned, and all the little cubs have settled into work for the day. Understand that the last part is actually a big challenge. As a matter of fact there is a departmental challenge to see whose tardy workers get into work first. It's not company known, but for the players involved, it's actually kind of fun. For some reason this has been a banner week and everyone has come into the office by 8:40. No, as a matter of fact we don't work at a daycare and these aren't 5 year olds, but grown ass people that just can't seem to get up and get moving, but I digress. So I'm sitting reading an article or watching the YouTube clip someone sent me about a 2 year old smoking, when a little email balloon pops up in the corner of my computer entitled Hey. Normally these emails are titled Hey and followed with, Want to make your Penis 10x larger? I don't know how they got my email address, but no thank you. Can I forward it though? Okay, okay, sorry dad. Anyway, I notice that this email is from a friend of mine that I haven't spoken to in years. And that's not figurative, that's literal. I certainly haven't spoken to him since I moved to Winston and that was 4 years ago. He sends this link and asks me if I notice anything familiar. I'm sceptical and curious. But the last time I clicked on a link that a friend sent me, it was on Facebook and it was then sent to all my "friends" while melting the inside of my computer down. Thinking that he actually typed words and it was a local link to a newspaper in DC, I didn't think much harm to come of it. So I click. The title of the website, 2010 Clash of the Cocktails. OH NO. An immediate, this is not funny, popped in my head, and in the pit of my stomach. For those of you who don't know, for about 2 many years of my life I dated this guy who was a bartender in DC. Well actually if you asked him he was a lot of things. I think one time he was a professional snowboarder, sommelier, went to Maryland to play football, professional pool player. Yeah, this guy was a jack(ass) of all trades and master of none. Don't ask what drew me to him we were like Paula Abdul and MC Scat Cat. That and I was in a really dark place in my life. I mean really dark. Apparently, we'll call him *jack*, is still in DC and still a bartender, shocker. I guess there is some local cocktail competition between 17 of some of the worst looking bartenders I have ever seen. I distinctly remember *jack* being a huge Jack fan, so the fact that his entry in the competition is with Kettle was shocking. Of course I sent the link to everyone that knew us together and kept asking them, WTF kind of friends are you guys to let me date this guy?! Just look at him! I was appalled at myself. I was reminded of all of the terrible stories that at the time I thought weren't. I'm warning you, these aren't a great reflection on myself. For the friends that stuck by me through this whole thing, I love you more than ever! Here are just a few. If I told them all, I would probably run out of blog space and have to dedicate a seperate one just to my ex boyfriends. Buckle up, here you go. Don't day I didn't warn you. I won a free, all expense, trip to Jamaica for a week, and took him. He bought pot from a guy that floated up on a raft outside our compound. Then, he brought the shit back and we had to go through customs. I didn't know this until after we were home, but if I had ended up in jail for something that my parents knew I didn't do, my father would have killed him. And then there was the fact that he couldn't qualify for a cell phone, so I put him on my plan. I mean really, who doesn't qualify for a cell phone? You have to be a complete degenerate to not be able to get one of those. And then when we broke up, he was supposed to pay his part of the bill, but instead allowed it to go to $300 which my dad had to pay. Then there was the pool table that he just "had to have". Some granite top professional pool table that he bought for like $1,500. Keep in mind that although *jack* lived in my apartment, *jack* didn't pay rent. He was basically a squatter. So when he came home with this "great idea" to have a pool table, that didn't go over so well with me. Not only that, but the f-ing thing didn't even fit. You couldn't play pool on it. It became my clothes folding area. And the the creme de la creme. It was my birthday night and all my friends were gathered downtown getting housed, as we always do. Heather comes up to me to mention that *jack* asked her to gather everyone and stand outside holding roses. Mike comes up to me later to mention the same thing. Both did not agree to do it. So *jack* takes me outside to give me my present, or that's what he says. We head next door to go up some secret passage way to the roof. As we walk in, one of his buddies was introducing us to someone else and says this is *jack* and his fiancee Kat. I immediately say, "no it's not" and I turn right back around to leave. *jack* chases after me and just tells me to come with him. My head is going all kinds of crazy. I think this is my true turning point in life. We get to the roof and we're sitting at the bar b/c clearly he's nervous and he's addict and I say "if you're going to propose, don't". And I think right then and there I killed whatever spirit he had inside of him. I have a lot of mixed feelings about this story. I wouldn't change the outcome for anything in the world, but hurting someone as badly as I did was the hardest thing I've done in my life. All those bad stories aside, he was a really nice guy and was very good to me. He wasn't good for me, but he was a sweetheart just the same. So, my original thought of going to mess with the guy or sitting down and drinking $300 worth of alcohol and walking out has kind of subsided. It sounded like a good idea yesterday, but I know what it's like to get hurt by someone you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with. And if that person chose to mess with me, just to be spiteful, I would probably want them murdered. Instead I'll be the bigger person and just choose to punch my friend Paul in the face for sending me that article that dug up some pretty powerful memories. I'm coming after you Paulie, better be careful!