Cliche'

Last night I was one red wine glass shy of being the biggest girl cliche in the world. I came home on my off night of P90x and actually got tired of watching TV. It's been a rough week all around and I can't quiet put my finger on the most stressful part of it, but I just wanted complete silence. Even getting myself wrapped up in television "real" world wasn't doing the trick. I was scratching my head trying to figure out what could make me relax and get rid of this terrible pain in my right shoulder blade. My conclusion? I ran a hot bath with bath beads, lit some candles and sat there and read for an entire hour. I got lost in the book I was reading and just detoxed. It was the most outstanding 60 minutes of my whole week. There was no barking, no phone ringing, no nothing. Just me and Frankie McCourt in the fine country of Ireland. I realize that my blogs of late, or maybe the whole time have been a little cynical, or more cynical than normal, and a good detox is just what the doctor ordered.

I felt so refreshed that I got through the entire hour of Core Synergistics this morning! Yes, this is a huge accomplishment as this exercise is a mixture of the Plyometrics and Yoga exercises that I already have a hard time getting through. But, if it makes my core that much stronger, I'm all for it! Tuesday is Day 30, I hope I'm ready for this. I don't feel ready, but the pictures and hopefully the measuring tape will speak for itself.

Here's to hoping that all this work is really paying off!

R.I.P Stick

I swore I wasn't going to write a lot about my dog, but last night was the final hoorah for that stupid, bloody stick that has been a thorn in my side for weeks now. It had a good run, not for lack of trying to stop that. It's been tossed around, and chewed on, and hidden, but it still managed to stand the test of time....until yesterday. It was a day, just like any other. Came home, but instead of taking Scout for her regular walk around the neighborhood, I thought, why not just play in the front yard? So I picked up my nemesis and hurled it into the air, across the yard. This continued on for about 5 minutes, until CRACK! All the tossing and chewing had finally taken its toll on the poor guy. If I were to have spent some time in Scout's head at that moment, I envision that it would have looked a little bit like this...

However, now instead of just one stick, I have four pieces of a stick in my yard that Scout is equally as entertained with.

You've won this round stick, but I'll get my revenge!

A Note to Mother Nature

Make up your mind, will ya? It's almost May and this morning I could still see my breath. I had to wear a jacket to work b/c I had short sleeves on and that just wouldn't do. It's shouldn't still be 46 degrees. It shouldn't still be snowing in Vermont. I shouldn't haven't to turn on the Today show to see what the weather will be like so that I can dress accordingly. I live in the South. Not quiet the dirty, dirty, but the South. It should be sundress season. (Yes boys, we know what that is) I should be wearing shirts with no sleeves. Shorts on the weekends and enjoy walking outside in the morning. Instead I'm putting my Uggs, sweat pants, and a sweat shirt on and begging Scout to put down the stick and pee for Christ sake. So, Mother Nature, if you're reading, we'd all like it to warm up a bit. I'm not talking melt your face off Houston in August hot, but a little spring before summer hits in a few weeks would be nice.

No P90x update since yesterday. I'm running after work. It's a bit boring, but it'll get the job done. I'm sure there will be a story in there somewhere. So instead I'll leave you with a British word of the day. It's been a while since I've done that. The word is cack. It might sound like a lady from Michigan trying to describe the mascot from South Carolina and might be used in a similar fashion. The word is meant to mean rubbish. To use in a sentence, "what a load of cack". Could also be used to describe someone talking nonsense.

I think this one is definitely getting moved into my vocabulary.

Dog for Sale

Any one who knows me knows just how much I love little Scout. Some might say that I love that little thing a bit too much, but I don't care what those haters say. However, that being said, I did almost leave her outside today and not look back. Let me paint the picture. I guess it was hot in my room, but I don't wear a fur coat all the time, so I was perfectly comfortable. But she was up and down and up and down and up and down once an hour. And then just when I looked at my clock and noticed that I had about an hour of sleep left before I had to get up and workout, the little pisser wouldn't go back to sleep. She barked at the bedroom door, I let her out. She barked at the back door, I told her no. She barked at the front door, I got up. I'm thinking, wow, she must really have to go to the bathroom. We go outside and the little monster just wanted to play with her stick. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?! You really just got me out of bed to play with a stick? Nope, you're going to potty whether you like it or not, and she did. Only she wanted to bark at the door every ten minutes for the next hour while I was trying to work out. Which might I add, was difficult enough without Madam Barksalot adding to it. Since it is recovery week, I totally took the whole thing for granted. Thinking that I was going to have a morning of stretching and sit-ups and maybe a few crunches, since we were working core. I couldn't be more wrong. Did you know that push-ups help your core? Did you know that laying on the floor acting like Superman helps you core? Did you know that sweating your ass off at 6 in the morning helps you core? Yeah, me neither. And getting distracted by the barking and the licking and the sassing wasn't very motivating. So in full disclosure, I only got through 45 minutes of the DVD and am thinking that if softball gets cancelled for any reason tonight, that I might try the whole thing over. I don't really feel that I got the full effect this morning as I'm sure you can imagine. I should have stayed in bed and slept a little longer. Little does she know it, but Scout owes me a full nights sleep and she will pay me back!

Monday Bloody Monday

I have started to develop a love/hate relationship with weekends. I do love them so very much and look forward to them whenever my alarm goes off during the week. However, I have started to dread them b/c I often times eat like crap and have a drink or two (or 6 or 7). This weekend was no exception, only it started on Thursday during my trip to West Virginia. I honestly thought that Thursday would be the only day that I threw caution into the wind and ate whatever I wanted, but then there was Friday, and then Saturday. It's like there is a little voice in my head that's telling me, sure you went ahead and worked out so go ahead and eat whatever you want to. Only I wish that voice would also say, you are working way too hard to have that Chinese food/Cracker Barrel/Bud Light. And, of course, I'm trying to rationalize it. Well, if I only drink on the weekends, or eat like this on Saturday or Sunday, then I'm fine. It's not like I eat like crap all the time, right? I believe that's what addicts say. So, I'm thinking that AFTER this upcoming weekend, it might be time to stick to the no alcohol for 30 day rule. I mean, this weekend is the lawn Olympics. I have to compete in that! But then there are the wine festivals! Oh goodness gracious, I'm going to have to do some serious soul searching in the next couple of days.

In regards to the P90x progress, this week is recovery week. That means there is no lifting and perhaps no getting up at 6 am, except for tomorrow. I'm also planning on taking matters into my own hands and doing cardio on my own. As a matter of fact, instead of doing Yoga tonight, I'm planning on doing the elliptical for 45 minutes and catching up on People. I'm so far behind, I was in the grocery store line this weekend and saw the cover with Prince William and Kate and thought they had gotten engaged. I've been so out of touch! (Quit judging me, everyone has a vice).

Oh Monday's how I love you!

It's been a rough one

I'm not going to lie to you, this has been one rough day. After waking up yesterday morning at 4:45 am and driving all the way to West Virginia (4.5 hours), then turning back around at 5 pm and making the trek back home, not able to rest my weary head on my pillow until 10:45 pm my alarm going off at 6 am this morning did not make for a very pleasant morning. The only saving grace was that Stinkerbell is still at her sleep over and I was able to do Yoga without Dora the Explorer trying to make her way under my Warrior One positioned legs. I really thought today was going to be the day I made it past Warrior Three pose as well. The fact that I got up at all is a miracle, but to then make it 45 minutes and not stop was almost phone call worthy. Let me break these poses down for you in a play by play form. You know sticking to what I know..

Here is Warrior One. This is one I can do minimally falling or having to use my bed, floor, or dog for balance.

To the left here is Warrior Three where I can somewhat accomplish the feat, but when you have to start heading into Half Moon pose, as shown on the right, things, in my world, get a little tricky. Being super man and pretending that I can actually fly seems moderately easy, but then when Tony asks me to start heading in the direction of placing my hands on the floor and reaching up for the sky, we are stepping WAY out of my comfort zone. This is when I start to wobble, and unlike the Weeble Wobbles, I do actually fall down. How is one to clear their mind, when sweat beads are rolling down my face from trying not to fall. I swear, I'm really trying to be in the moment and clear my head of anything I need to do later or anything that might be on my mind and it seems to work until all that is on my mind is how was I not created to bend or balance this way? I'm sure in months I'll look back on these Yoga posts and laugh as I scratch my head with my toes. Get it? B/c I'm that bendy.

Alright, the post is done now. You all can continue your days :o)

Wild and Wonderful

In honor of Earth day, I have decided to load up the family truckster and head off to West Virginia for the day. I figured I would wake up before the sun and just make the most of daylight. What an adventure it has proven to be.....

Doesn't that story sound like the start of something that would be so wonderful and open to possibilities? It certainly started off sounding like something so much better than the truth? I am in West Virginia and I did have to leave at the ass crack of dawn, but honestly it was the best morning adventure I've had in a while. I went to go pick up my car riding companion and when I passed the neighborhood gas station the first time, there were no lights on and no one was around. Within 10 minutes of picking him up there was a cop in the parking lot chasing a...wait for it, wait for it....PONY. Imagine the call that the police station had at 6 in the morning that someones pony got loose. I understand that I live in a small town, but a pony?!?!?! I mean, it had a saddle on and everything. It was ready for the fair or a child's birthday party, but it was 6 am in the outskirts of the city. It would be understandable for this story to take place maybe..here in the wild and wonderful, but not really a story for the Dash.

I believe the British would call that a barking story! I can't imagine what I will find on the way home!

Red Neck Social

Today's reading is going to be focused more on the opposing team in the softball game of last night than of the workout this morning. As you read, you'll thank me and understand why.

Allow me to paint a picture of what we were walking into. As our team was warming up by throwing and stretching, the other team was standing around smoking. They had cigarettes hanging out of the mouths and babies hanging off of their bodies. Not even knowing what we were up against, I knew who we were playing. These were the people I was expecting upon moving to the south. These are the people that give the south a bad reputation. These people are "those people".

Instead of making this story as long as I could, I'm going to give you all some highlights of the evenings activities:

• The guys were wearing strip club t-shirts. How do I know they were from a strip club? Well, b/c we make fun of this place all the time, as it's right down the street from the softball field. We joke about making it our post game spot. But they aren't a sponsor, so we're not "allowed" to go.
• In line with the strip club shirts, there was a girl on their team named Destiny. I really don't think this requires any further information.
• The catcher, who had on a shirt that said Hawaii, was asked by the ump if someone had brought the shirt back for her or if she had gone herself. Her response was no, I got this on a trip to Goodwill. This is when Bless her heart applys.
• As Destiny was on first base, as a base runner (yes, this is important), and her little stripper kids were on the opposite side of the field, she proceeded to tell her little girl that she would have to go to the bathroom by herself and b/c she was alone, she had to make sure to pull the paper out first. I have so many questions for Destiny.

And the worst part of it all, was that we got smoked by these guys. They actually invoked the slaughter rule on us b/c they were ahead by so many points. Note to self, be careful when you judge b/c while you do, the rednecks are going to melt your face!

Happy 4/20!

Did you know on this day in history, tiny baby Adolf was born in a manger? Oh wait, that's not right, and I'm pretty sure I've offended at least one person out there, but it is Hitler's birthday. This was also the terrible day of the Columbine shooting. And last but not least, my friend Alex also has a birthday today. That is probably no accident either. It's also the kick off of Naked Tuesday. That's right folks, you might have heard of water cooler talk but today at the coffee machine we established Naked Tuesday. The idea of Naked Tuesday was formed by thinking if one were to dress slutty to get a raise than one should also walk in naked, to work, no problem, to have the same effect, if not better. The unfortunate part is that naked or clothed the raise part is not going to happen. However, if you do happen to see me wandering around the building without clothes on, you might as well stop and ask if I got some more money for it. I'm starting a revolution people! Who's with me?!?!?!?

Right, I'm only on my first sips of coffee. Probably time to take a little breather.

And I'm back. I'm throwing out a challenge to the readers of this blog. I challenge each of you to find the Plyometrics workout on You tube or purchase it, or hell, I'll gladly do it with any takers in the ISP gym, or even the basketball court and run through it one time. And not only run though it one time, but run through it and not want to puke your brains out by the middle. I feel like I was jumping so high and landing so hard that my brain was rattling around at some point. They say to pause it if you need some time, but what happens if you're sucking so much wind that you can't reach the pause button? What happens if I've literally run out of juice? What happens if I have a massive heart attack on my floor and no one knows I've died from trying to do air guitar kicks? In other words, this workout hasn't really gotten easier, I've just been able to do more in it. So try it today! You probably won't thank me at all, but at the very least I'll be welcoming you to my hell!

Smoke 'um if you got 'um people, and let's get this party started!

World Record?

I don't know what the world record would be for length of time spent on ones couch watching TV, but I think I might have been a contender yesterday. I literally went from 30% free on my DVR to 50%. I watched 20% of my DVR. Do you know how much TV that is?!?! It was my mission to at least get that far, but I still don't feel like I've scraped the surface of the challange I'm looking at ahead. Not to mention that I still have 2 Netflix discs that I didn't get through. I think yesterday was mostly a little bit of a pity party. I understand that muscle weighs more than fat, but I stood on my scale and realized that I gained ANOTHER two pounds. That would be a total of 4.5 pounds gained in two weeks. As I was watching a few episodes of The Biggest Loser I kept thinking that those guys are working out WAY harder than I do and they are dropping pounds like it's their job. Okay, some of them could also apply to Sea World before they started on the show, but that's besides the point. I'm working out 6 days a week for, at minimum, an hour at a time and I've gained 4.5 pounds! I'm eating correctly (besides yesterday), drinking nothing but loads and loads of water, but I just don't get it. There is only so much fish a girl can take. And egg white omletes that have worked their way into my diet. If this is the fat burning time, I'm waiting.

But that being said, I do have some monumental news as of this morning. Instead of doing all my push-ups on my knees, I was able to do 5, correctly, on my toes! Again, it's not dropping 20 pounds, which has now become 24.5, but it is moving in the right direction. It might not seem like much, but the fact that my little pipe cleaners were able to push my body weight up and down 5 times is a lot. I will also say that I'm getting a little bored with the work outs and am really excited that my routine changes next week. Time to mix things up and hopefull start working my body in a different way. I also really miss running so when I have time I'm going to start mixing running into the work outs as well. Heck, at this point I'll try anything new if it might bring on some success. Yes, I'm obviously getting a little impatient.

According to the Brittish I am feeling a little bloater so I'll go back to my day of water and fruit and salad and hope that this is the calm before the storm.

Happy Monday everyone!

TGIF everyone!

Well, for those of you that were wondering, I did it! I actually did it! Everything was working against me yesterday and pointing me in the direction of not working out. I left work late. I received a work call on my way home that lasted 15 minutes after I walked in the door. My trustee stead destroyed the carpet....AGAIN. So there was really nothing pointing me in the direction of working out. But I kept telling myself that if I didn't do it, I wouldn't. It would throw everything off and I've worked too hard for two whole weeks to let that happen. So I put on the Yoga gear and went to work. Much to my surprise, the stuff is actually working! The first 45 minutes I went up, I went down, I held my position, I balanced. And then came the half moon. I am determined that when I pass this part of the DVD I will have made it. Imagine that you have to keep your leg raised while moving the rest of your body in a sort of cirque de sole positioning and not fall. I was using everything to try and keep my balance, but instead of working on the breathing and the calm, I was stepping into the frustration and that just defeats the purpose of Yoga. So I stopped. This morning, we almost had a repeat performance of the last three mornings of slacking off and working out after work. The alarm went off at 6 am and I actually hit snooze for another hour. But as I lay there I told myself that this is a bad move, made myself get out of bed and work the legs. In the end, it proved to be worthwhile. I feel better. I can eat my face off today and not worry about it and I still have abs to look forward too when I get home. Plus, now I can go home and rest my fat ass on the couch and feel absolutely confident that I did everything that I needed to today.

We have begun the science experiment of dog chew toys. We have heeded the advice of our good friends Laura, Nate and Campbell and purchased our very own Hard Core Fire Hose displayed below:

Day one results. Handle is already chewed through and part is on the floor, but the rest remains in tact.

Second toy purchased was a toy fox with absolutely NO stuffing, seen here:

I realize that it looks a little cruel, but I don't think she loves a toy more right now. Except maybe the stupid remains of that blasted mailman. I can't bring myself to throw away his carcase either. It's like a constant reminder of what not to do ever again.

Happy Friday everyone. Remember to use your British words wisely. Today's word: balls-up. It means error, mistake, snafu. Figure out how to use that one correctly....

Note to self...

Upon staying up later than normal, know that as you age, going to bed at 1 and trying to get up at 7 is not, I repeat NOT, going to happen. Let alone trying to get up at 6 and do p90x. So, mark it on your calendars, a repeat performance of hiting the snooze happened again this morning. Although meeting new friends is fun, the side effects, like upsetting your entire schedule for potentially a week, is not worth it. We're just going to have to find a better, earlier time to hang out. But, upon not getting to do the P yesterday morning, I got a recruit (victim) to help me with the process last night. Thinking that she was not going to work out as hard as she actually did, Jenna took a stab at Arms and Shoulders. I will admit that this particular workout is a little ninja like. You start off kind of slow and then by the end you're ready to be finished. And on top of working your upper body for an hour, you then go on to abs where you sweat more than you do in the entire previous hour. If I don't start getting a flat belly soon, I might have to start giving up some food......ha, ha, ha, yeah I was laughing at that too. I will say, that it was nice to have the company though. I should have thought about this before b/c it makes it way more fun to have someone doing this with you than standing in your bedroom all by yourself fist pounding your tv. Now onto the debate of the day. Do I go home tonight and do yoga? Do I go home tonight and run outside with the little one? Do I stick to my thoughts of last week and use this as my day off and do Yoga on Sunday? So many tough decisions for the night. With the idea of going to the baseball game off the table, I have nothing but possibilities for the evening. It's almost like a choose your own adventure. What will she do?!?!?!? Dun dun duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

Slacker

Okay, I'm not a total slacker, I have an excuse as to why I didn't do P90x this morning, but I'm really not getting into it. I could make excuses that my quad's hurt from last nights dominating double header win of the ISP Ballas (which is true), or that me and some friends finished off a bottle of 2 buck chuck last night after the game (also true), or that I totally got into watching 9 to 5 last night (watched it, wasn't really paying attention), but really none of them would be the reason. I'm pooped and really didn't feel like working out this morning. I do swear to you that I will be going home after work today and doing my exercises though. That you can take to the bank.

I do, however, want to reflect on something that I forgot to talk about yesterday. Monday after work I went home and instead of the normal routine of watching TV that I'm totally behind on, I decided to watch one of the movies I have DVR'd. Thinking that it might take more space off my box (he, he that's what she said). Well, I was feeling a little light hearted that day, so I watched Bridget Jones Diary. I don't even get ten minutes into the movie when I realized, holy s&^t this is me! She had entered her 32 year on earth and started keeping a diary. And just like her, my diary is also for public consumption. Of course, I'm not going to write about Mark Darcy or Daniel Cleaver, b/c they just aren't real. This was exactly how she started out though. Although my mission is not to quit smoking cigarettes or not weigh as much as she does, I do think I need to start using awesome British words like poof or snog or bugger. It's like when the British insult you it's not as bad since they use such awesome words. I would relate it to the old southern saying "bless her heart" which is also pretty amazing considering that you can say practically anything about anyone, as long as you end it with "bless their heart". So my mission for the remainder of the year, as it was Bridget's, is to find a good British bloke, preferably one that looks like Hugh Grant to snog and then end up with a great British bloke like Collin Firth, standing in the snow in my knickers with my arse hanging out. Probably not, but I just wanted to use the word snog in a sentence.

It's not easy being green

No, I'm not singing the Kermit the Frog song, but I am referring to how I felt this morning. I know they tell you not to eat at least an hour before you do the Plyometrics workout, however, even with no food in my system I thought I was going to hurl. He's got you up and down and side and side and hopping on one foot and jumping across the river and playing the air guitar. Yes, these are all real moves. I actually stopped before the "extras" kicked in b/c I knew I had a softball double header today and why do the extras when I'll already be doing a little more. Needless to say, if this workout isn't working I don't know what is.

In other news I need to send out a note to the lady who was checking out behind me at PetSmart this weekend. I believe her other job is to sell broken down cars that look real nice. Some may call them lemons. So I have in my hands a nylon chew toy and some rawhide's. This lady pulls up behind me and says that she has just the toy for my young pup. That she and her....ahh hmm "friend"....have a husky lab mix and that it takes them so long to destroy this thing. I'm thinking, holy crap! I need to get this lady's phone number. If this actually works I'm going to buy stock in this thing. So me, my trusty sidekick, and our purchases head home. It takes her less than an hour to rip through the nylon toy, my pick, and the Mailman lays in waiting. I'm still thinking this lady is a genius! Cue last night. 2 days after our trip to PetSmart, where I see Scout riping into the corner of this Mailman. I'm thinking, no way is she really going to get through this, is she? For the past 12-14 hours, I have been picking up stuffing and squeakers and rattlers all over my house for this "indestructible" dog toy. Needless to say this morning I am researching indestructible dog toys and will be conducting a science experiment. So far what I have learned is although the lesbians have 4 dogs and should know better, this will be one more thing I don't listen to their advice on.

Monday, Monday

Week one is under our belts and week two has already started. I would say that I've started to see results, but I would be lying. Stood on the scale and gained two and a half pounds. I'm not freaking out though. They say that muscle weighs more than fat and last nights delicious bbq didn't help either. Plus any fitness expert will tell you that you don't start seeing results until you have done a workout for at least two weeks. In other words, if I don't start seeing something by this time next week I probably should change something in my eating patterns. But, that being said, I do think I'm a little stronger in my arms. I felt my muscles in the shower when I was washing my hair. I bet my public will start seeing those tiny bb gun pellats soon enough.

I'd like to clear up some confusion for those of you who have no idea what I'm doing. P90x, or P82x as of today, is not a different workout every day. There are 3 phases of 30 days each. For 3 weeks, you do the same workouts and then week 5 they start to mix it up again. Although there are 13 discs, I won't go through all 13 until the end, I'm assuming. For example, today, we worked back and shoulders again. You know, the old hanging off the cliff moment that started us off? Well, the good news is that I'm doing more push ups, the bad news is that I'm still on my knees doing them. (not a that's what she said moment, sorry folks)

Holy crap! Do any of you watch 24? I finally caught up this weekend. It has finally gotten good with only a few more episodes to go. I won't ruin it, but if you watch it, email me. I love a good rant!

Although it's Monday, I think I need to change my bear color. I'm no longer Grumpy Bear and those of you who were around me on Friday, I apologize for that. It took until yesterday to shake that mood too. Today, I think I will be....FUNSHINE BEAR!

Even Funshine has more muscles than me. She's holding up the whole blog.....

A morning of pouting/venting

I really don't mean to, but this is exactly how I feel today. I woke up and the last thing on earth I wanted to do was work out! I'm tired! I'm tired of waking up at 6 am. I'm tired of Tony yelling at me for an hour. I'm tired of Scout thinking that when I'm squatting that what I'm really doing is reaching lower to pet her. But most of all, I'm tired of it turning cold! Pick a temperature there Mother Nature. It's been so nice lately why did you have to go and get cold? Why am I wearing long sleeves today? Why do I live in the south, in April, and it's 47 degrees?!?!?! I knew it was cold when Scout actually slept in the bed last night. Either that or even she was too tired to get up. GROWL! The funny part of it all is that the workout was great. Back and legs will probably fall into the number 2 slot behind arms this week. Lots of new things I'm learning. And instead of attempting the pull ups I can now wrap my resistance bands around the bar and pull. Thought that was the wussy way out, but now that some of the others are doing it, it seemed a lot easier than struggling to get my body up that bar. I do have some curious questions though. I'm not sure why Tony is so keen on Drea. I mean, sure she has a killer body, but there are other people in the room that are working just as hard. Is there a little extra cardio going on when some private cameras are rolling? Ha! I'm already making myself feel better.

I better snap out of this. I've got too. Big plans tonight! Big weekend in the works. Yup, I'm going to be a mystery. It's more exciting that way, plus it makes you think that there is something super secretive going on.....

But in closing, I leave you all with this, if any of you know of some rich guy that would allow me to quit my job and lay around on the beach all day, please feel free to give him my number and/or email address. I feel like I'm waiting for my ship to come in and I'm standing on the dock, but no one told me it was a train.

Okay, venting over.....If I'm happier later I'm coming back and changing my bears colors.

Namaste

In the spirit of full disclosure I must admit that I only did half of the Yoga exercise today. Not b/c I hated it and couldn't do it anymore, but b/c the darn thing was an hour and a half long and I only get up at 6 am people. I've always wanted to try Yoga b/c I never thought it looked that hard. I'm not sure I could be more wrong about anything in my entire life. I think, minus any time I've taken a class at the gym and the air went out, this is the most I've sweat in my entire life. I think mostly b/c currently I am built like this:

And to do Yoga properly, one should be built like this:

I'm thinking that in the interest of time, I might start moving some exercises around. Maybe do some Yoga on Sundays and save my off day, or stretch day for Thursdays. I mean it is baseball season which only can mean two words....Thirsty Thursdays. Or maybe I invest in a yoga mat and now wear tennis shoes when I'm trying to do "downward facing dog". Who knew I was doing it wrong this whole time? It kind of made me giggle while I was working out though, b/c two of these positions were named after dogs and mine was laying her lazy ass on her side and I wanted to be doing the exact same thing. Maybe I'll make up my own Yoga move, the on the ground sleeping dog.

Before I go, I would like to welcome little Ollie Cleveland to the world as of yesterday! Can't wait to meet you! Congrats mom and dad!

Song of the day: Usher, OMG from his Raymond V. Raymond album. It's actually pretty good if you get a chance to listen to it. You can listen free on his website :o)

L8!

Autumn Twilights

In full support of my brother and his kick ass talent of being a rock star I encourage you all to check out his bands website: www.autumntwilights.com. You will hear their music immediately. Their new album drops this month so be sure to sign up for the newsletter to get all the info. I promise you that you will NOT be disappointed!

I think there is fire shooting out of my eyeballs!

First and foremost I need to give a shout out to my ISP Ballas! We totally beat the "competition" last night by slaughter rule. We have certainly come a long way from when that was the opposite on us. Can't stop a well oiled machine. Note to self though, if you are planning on getting up at 6 am to workout, you probably shouldn't stay out tailgating in the ghetto until 10:30 at night. Sure, it makes your pimp hand strong, but it certainly doesn't help the sleeping situation. Needless to say I feel like there is fire shooting out of my eyeballs. Instead of making today Rex Manning Day, I might have to make it how many cups of coffee can you actually drink to stay awake for the rest of the day, day. And I so wish that tailgating was the end of my night....but it wasn't. I feel like I'm a good dog owner. Instead of going directly to the bar last night before the game, I went home to make sure the little one went out. Thinking that I was getting some of her energy out. Well, the little bastard did it again. I got yet another Netflix yesterday in the mail. Placed it on the counter well out of reach of someone that small. And I came home last night to find pieces of Andrea scattered all over the floor. Apparently someone is bored. Now this little stinker is going to cost me another $14 in order to replace yet another DVD. And yes, folks it's still 90210. Perhaps she doesn't like the show? I'm confident that could not be the case.

But onto bigger and better things. Today was probably the best arm workout I've EVER had. Although I was reluctant to do anything due to my lack of sleep, I got up none the less and just feel great today. You know, below the neck. I learned that if you want lean muscle you have to do 12-15 reps. Here I was just doing 4 sets of 25, thinking that wasn't enough and I was really doing too many. I just can't rave enough about it. Good job today Tony Horton! Unfortunately I didn't have enough time in the my morning to also do abs so I've split my workout up today. Probably won't be reporting on that though. Pretty anti-climatic.

Took measurements this morning. 36-24-36, just like Sir Mix A Lot likes. That number is going to change, don't you worry!

Okay, off to get cup of coffee number one. This should be fun.....

An apology to my softball team

I must admit, this morning I am struggling a little bit. I'm not what some would call a "morning person". I don't like to get out of bed until it is absolutely necessary. Last night, after feeling my heart break over finding out who got kicked off of Project Runway last week, (don't worry, I won't spoil it for those of you who watch and are behind) I climbed into bed around 9:30. No joke. Of course I did watch a little 90210 to lull myself to sleep, but don't worry folks, Donna Martin has not graduated yet. She's making money on the stock market.

Anywho, alarm rings at 6 am. I "hop" out of bed and start today's edition of "what are you doing to your body so early in the morning". H-O-L-Y C-R-A-P! Plyometretics?! It's like a standard cardio workout on crack. Turbo has you hoping and leaping and jumping and yes, there is a difference in all of those act ivies, I learned this morning. The only break I had besides the :30 water breaks was when Scout had to go out to potty. I've never been more happy to have a dog in my life. I was almost encouraging her to go out as much as she wanted. Oh another break? Don't mind if I do. Now I've taken some body pump classes in my life and some spin classes and this exercise this morning was a mixture of cardio hell mixed with football drills. Me no likey working that hard THAT early in the morning.

Needless to say I made my first shake this morning b/c I wasn't sure that anything solid would stay down. I'm telling you, it was that intense. Then I decided that today was a good day for an egg white omelet, only none of my pans were clean, awesome. So, I run to the bagel store. I tell this story b/c I'm a little confused. I hate eggs. I mean, I really hate eggs, but I'm okay with egg whites. I'm weird, I know. But I walk in wanting an egg white omelet on a bagel. Yes, I am also this hungry. On the menu states there is a spinach and cheddar omelet. Perfect. It sounds healthy and has my first dose of veggies. "Yes, I would like your spinach and cheddar omelet with egg whites please". "yeah we don't have that. You can have egg whites or the spinach and cheddar you can't have both"

Zoinks Scoob! Riddle me that? Why...I mean how can you not...this place is dump! So I got my egg white and cheese on a whole wheat bagel and headed off to work.

So in short, I apologize to my softball team if tonight I either can't move my legs b/c they have gone and fallen asleep on me or I, myself, fall asleep on the bench from waking up so damn early. Needless to say, there will be no beer for this lady tonight.

Yours in fist pumping....

The First Day of the Rest of my Life

I was debating between that title and "The new phonebooks are here! The new phonebooks are here!" but I figured this one was way more powerful and dramatic :o)

Well, after 11 long days of waiting, my mail lady finally delivered my P90x. It wasn't without some long sorted tale either, but in order not to take the focus off the task at hand, I will digress and get to it. So, today was day one of our 90 day adventure together...where I do all the work and all you do is read about it...Seems fair to me. I must say, there is some good news, and then there is some bad news. The good news is, is that the self installed pull-up/chin-up bar did not unhinge from the wall causing me to fall on the floor in what would have been the 2nd funniest, clumsy fall in the past two months. The first, of course, being the "Big Tree that fell in Brooklyn". (if you don't know that story, ask, I'll tell you) The bad news is that if I were hanging from a cliff, for my dear life, I would totally have to let go and die b/c the lack of upper arm strength I posses is absurd. I mean Turbo Tony has you all over the place, which of course, adds to the muscle confusion, but thank God he suggested using a chair. Use a chair Tony? How about relay on a chair to get my squishy ass above the bar?!?!? It's probably the most pathetic I have ever felt in a work out....ever! Now, in grade school I was allowed to do the chin-up hang or whatever the hell that was, but I don't think I could, on my own, pull my body weight up that far and hang. Let alone try and get my fat ass up that far more than once. What I should have done was take a video so you all could enjoy watching what I couldn't do, but instead I'll do the good writer thing and tell the story with my words. Plus, you guys try and do that many pull-up/chin-ups and go straight into push-ups with tiny pipe cleaner arms. Yeah, that's what I thought...

So, goals. Everyone needs them, otherwise what in the world am I putting myself through this for?!?!? Upon stepping up on the scale last night and then attempting to dress myself this morning, my current goal is to loose 20 pounds and drop at least 2 sizes. I know the size thing might be a little absurd, but the 20 pounds isn't just going to fall off easily. Tonight I'll measure myself so that I'll have those little numbers to reduce and add to my overall goal. And yes, I did take before pictures and will post them, after 30 days. I want something to be proud of, not cringe in disgust at what I'm making public knowledge.

In the infamous words of Jessica Rabbit: "You don't know how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do"

Until tomorrow.....

Netflix...and Day 10

Does anyone out there know how much it costs to replace a DVD from Netflix? I'm not asking b/c I'm doing a research project, but because yesterday I came home at lunch to find that my small, four legged, room mate had taken it upon herself to get onto the top counter in the kitchen and take down not only the JCrew magazine that I was saving, but also the Netflix DVD on top of it. I've always been happy that Scout was never a chewer...but now I realize that it wasn't a chewer of furniture, but of any paper and now medal source. So imagine if you will I walk into my house and find the magazine absolutely frayed to shreds and only the casing of the Netflix. This got me to asking in my firm yet still doggy confusion voice, "Scout, where is the DVD?!?!?!". Next move we make is around the corner of the couch where my question is answered. She has not only bitten into a portion of the DVD itself making it not playable, but also not sure it could even go into a DVD player, but she has also taken apart the plastic casing in which DVD's themselves are manufactured in. I'm not even sure a human could do this, let alone a 10 month old puppy. But, as I'm quickly learning, we're not dealing with an ordinary 10 month old dog here. To know her is to love her. Well, the answer to my own question is $14. I only spend $18 a month on renting 3 DVD's at a time and for Scout's treat I have to pay $14. She knows this is going to be taken out of her allowance. To make matters worse, and I wasn't even sure I was going to admit this or not, but the DVD she ate was the 3rd disc of season 2 of 90210. And I hadn't even watched it yet. And on top of that, I looked up prices for the entire season on Amazon, just to make myself feel worse, and an entire season is only $10.62. SCOUT!

P90x update.... Houston, we have lift off! P90x has arrived in the United States. As of today, our little adventurer is in New York City. Probably going to take in the sites and sounds and be on their way. Who knew that a plane ride from Beijing to NYC takes 4 days. Remind me NEVER to go to China.

Someone reminded me of a great movie today so I'm going to end today in a movie quote: "Who knows where thoughts come from, they just appear"